Okay Here's one more summary if you can stand it.

Friday 5/19 started for me at 6:00 AM EST when the Space Shuttle Atlantis
launch shook the apartment and woke me up.  I staggered to the window
to get a brief glimpse of the vapor trail and a small fiery dot as
Atlantis was well on its way into orbit.

Made it to the Melbourne Airport around 7:30 AM.  Flew to Chicago via
Atlanta with no trouble (ducking from all the things thrown by those
on the east and west coast with flight problems), arriving in Chicago
about 12PM CST.  Lots of people in Atlanta were either going to the 
restaurant convention in Chicago, or the NRA convention in Charlotte
(I think).  I was carrying a plastic top hat because I couldn't pack it
in any suitcase without crushing it.  Two or three people asked about it,
and were somewhat incredulous when I mentioned ALCON 2000.

While the weather service mentioned a high in the mid-60's for Chicago, 
O'Hare airport had a wind chill of 28 degrees.  I waited until about 1:30 
for the shuttle to arrive, talking with 2 fellow ALCON attendees from
the New York area.  Shuttle finally arrived about 1:30 PM, and we arrived
at EGVHI about 2:00 PM.  Immediately saw Amanda, Angela Anuszewski,
Chuck Miller, Tim Ryan and Blasted Bill Putt.  Saw Diva and Sandy while
registering.  Talked with Chuck a great deal and went to Tim's room for
a pre-dinner listening party.

Did a lot of introducing and reacquainting once the doors opened.  Saw
Good X Gil, Jeff Morris, Luke Ski, Pooh Bear and family, and dozens more.
Dinner was great.  I had the veggie lasagne, even though I'm a total
carnivore, and enjoyed it.  Larry Weaver was fun, and new for me, because
all I'd heard before was "Grandpa's Gone Gangsta" from Basement Tapes 7.

"Desperation Boulevard" was a riot, especially Emo Phillip's cameo role.
Erin Moran was funny as well.  I enjoyed the interplay between all the
former child stars as they talked discussed their attempts to get work.
I must admit I was groaning with anticipation during a couple of the more
obvious plot twists.  (The "You Know What's Coming Next!" feeling).

Passed on going to Rocky Horror, but instead joined a group of 3 or 4 who
helped Amanda assemble the prize packages for Saturday.  Got to bed after
2:30 AM CST.  End of Day 1.

Dementedly yours,

Rob


Part 2:

Got up around 8:30 AM Saturday.  Had breakfast with Amanda, her parents,
Chuck Miller and Carmel.  

Manned the ticket table from 9AM til Noon, with Diva, Tera Doty and
Liz ? (sorry, I blanked on the rest of your name).  Lip Sync started
with Steve Chai doing IABTP.  Diva and I were jamming outside as well.
Watched the rest of the Lip Sync contest.  Unruly Julie was awesome.
Steve Chai and Fred were great as well.  I was especially impressed by
the person who did "Like a Surgeon"  He had cerebral palsy, but did an
excellent job on the lip sync.  I didn't catch a single mistake!
I've forgotten his name (and regret it) but kudos to him.

Took quick break to buy some merchandise and head back to the hotel
room.  Ran into Dr. Demento.  He accompanied me back to the room so
I could give him some CD's I'd been saving for him.  Headed back to
the Live Funny Five, and got to sit with Dr. D through most of it.

Grant (Throwing Toasters), Larry Weaver, and Sudden Death were all
great.   Tony Goldmark was fun, and had endured weather and strike-
induced flight delays totaling 23 hours I believe.  His Disney song
was fun (Since I live in it's long shadow).  Tony, don't worry
about Disney suing you.  I've heard many more vitriolic songs from
Florida folk artists in the Orlando area.  Ectomorph was a scream,
especially the facial expressions of "the Black Lung Miner".
Chris Mezzolesta (Power Salad) had everyone going nut with his song
"ALCON 2000"  I especially liked the "Is AL going to be there?  NO!!" part. 
Rob Paravonian was an utter delight!  I only wish he had the time to do
his song "Ritalin" in his set.

I caught the tail end of the trivia contest.  Julie (Undietow) showed
an incredible display of sportsmanship in the process of finishing second
to Catra Dohtem.  She rung in on the last question and blanked for a
second.  An audience member shouted the answer just before she did.  She
forfeited the point and lost in sudden death overtime.

Things were running about 1 1/2 hours behind schedule at this point.  Luke
Ski did a great job of doing a compact but rousing show.  Then began the
auction.  Things were going fast and furious backstage as that went on.
About 50 camera flashes went off as I "modeled" the Queen Amidala hair
piece.  I'd like a copy of a picture is someone can send me one.  Please
email me before sending anything, though.  I don't want 50 JPEGs in my
inbox.  The person who won Al's tooth from ALCON '98 showed off her
locket as she also displayed one of AL's pair of glasses for auction.
The price discrepancy on the pairs of glasses surprised me, but
understandably, the "Amish" glasses garnered the highest bid.

Dr. Demento's presentation was wonderful.  I loved singing along with
"Let's All Get Demented", "Shaving Cream" and seeing clips from the "Real 
People" interview from 1982  (which I saw when it was first broadcast).

Then came the tribute.  Amanda kept hinting to me that it was going to 
be good, but this was stupendous.  The line I heard that best sums it
up was "If VH1 were to do a "Behind the Music" on Dr. Demento, they'd be
extremely hard-pressed to improve upon this one." (from Dr. D himself if
I remember correctly)  Amanda and Mike Hoffman deserve more applause and
respect than can be contained in any newsgroup posting for the job they 
did.  Dr. D was obviously touched and flattered as well.  The part about
how the show has defined the musical tastes for many of its listeners hit
so close to home I was fighting back the tears.

The prom started a bit late but was great fun.  I enjoyed Good X Gil's
double-take when he saw me dressed as Dr. D.  Photo ops abounded, and
I can't wait to get the pictures developed.  Pictures with Dr. D, Gil
Amanda, Jeff Morris, Greg (the most incredible Al look-alike).

Diva's belly-dance outfit, Bill Putt's Gumby (the Monty Python variety)
and Julie (Undietow) 's dress were standouts, as was Grant's (Throwing
Toasters) and his fiancee's outfits.  Thanks to Jeff Morris for playing
"Lifeguard" by Blotto, and Louis Jordan's "Ain't Nobody Here But Us
Chickens".  Amanda got to dance with Dr. D. and Mike Hoffman did a
great job acting out "One More Minute".  Congrats to Luke and Steph on
being King and Queen, and to Bill Putt for being named Jester.

Cleanup went fairly quickly, as everyone was tired and wanted to get to
bed.

I had breakfast Sunday morning with Amanda and her parents again, and
Amanda was kind enough to take me to the airport along with her parents.

I got home to Melbourne, FL about 5 PM EST.  Temp was a pleasant 85
degrees.

End of ALCON summary for me.

Dementedly yours,

Rob



ALCON 2000 was definitely more than what I expected.

First of all, I felt really different than ever before in my life.  What I saw
in Elk Grove Village, IL this weekend was a large number of people not afraid
to be who they are and have unrestricted fun.

Before ALCON 2000, my Al life consisted of his music, his videos, and his
concerts.  If my ride (i.e., my parents) didn't mind staying after the shows, I
got to meet him.  However, other than these things, it was pretty limited. 
Unbeknownst to me, that is.

Now, after seeing Al tattoos, Al dress-alikes galore, Al's glasses, Al's tooth
(THIS IS CRAZY!  : )), and a limitless plethora of Al stuff, I realize what a
small pawn I am in the game of Al.  That's okay, though, because it's not for
everyone.

I give everyone who was there (and of course, to those who weren't able to be
there) immense credit for being so devoted to Al.  The times I met him, he was
the nicest person I've ever met.  Without a doubt, he's one of the most gifted
individuals I've ever had the pleasure of seeing & hearing, and he's just a
great guy.

In my life, there really weren't any people around who were into Al as much as
I wanted to be, so I was screwed from the beginning.  I think that's why it was
so limited for me.  However, never in a MILLION YEARS, did I think I would buy
anything like I did at ALCON.  I got the Queen Amidala hair from "The Saga
Begins".  I dig it.  I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do with it, but I
like it, and I'm glad I won it in the auction.

Lint, though?  : )

Anyway, I just wanted to thank the countless people I spent time with this
weekend.  This includes Amanda C (although I didn't actually meet her... just
saw her), My Roomies (Christine, Chuck, and Dave), the party people (Blasted
Bill, Cynthia, Donald, Rachel, and everyone else on Friday night), and of
course, Doctor Demento.  He was awesome.  A handful of us took the elevator up
w/ the Doc, and he just rocks.  There's no other way to put it.

All in all, it was a great weekend.  The flight stuff sucked, but the
convention rocked and the people were priceless.  Hope I get to go again to the
next one.

Anyone who knows me, I'm Don "The Guy From NY Who Sleeps On The Floor" and I'm
a big redhead.  Drop me a line if you think you met me.

Oh yeah, Throwing Toasters & Sudden Death rocked!  I bought all of their albums
there.  Tony Goldmark was crazy!  I wish I had his performance on videotape. 
If anyone has videotape of the convention, I'd love a copy of it, if possible.

Thanks!

Don - The Guy From NY Who Sleeps On The Floor
**I went to God just to see
  And I was looking at me
  Saw Heaven and Hell were lies
  When I'm God, everyone dies**