• "Joseph & The Technicolor Dream coat" starring Donny Osmond comes on tv and you think "Wow, he has Al hair!"
• All the sounds on your computer are Al-related.
• And you were surprised when nobody knew who you were.
• At work you battle with co-workers trying to sing the parody louder than the real version that's playing over the radio.
• During P.E., you hope and pray that your Mom isn't watching you thru binoculars from across the street to make sure you don't get hurt
• Even if you heard the original before Al's parody, you can't help but sing Al's lyrics whenever the song comes on the radio.
• Even in the UHF video.
• Every time you eat your vegetables ..especially Broccoli...you think of Al.
• Every time your are with your friends you bring up Al into the discussion...
• Everytime you here a song that became a parody of Als you think of Als song..
• Everytime you see/hear a guy named "Al", you immediately think of Weird Al
• If you miss any TV special with Al in it you lock yourself in your room for 3 days and cry.
• Instead of playing the license plate game or the alphabet game, you play the 27-spotting game while trying to pass time in the car.
• On the morning of December 23, 1999 you got up at 5:30 in the morning so you wouldn't miss the start of VH-Al on VH-1 at 6:00 (I did this!).
• On your birthday you eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer (or soy milk if you're under age)
• On your way to the "Biggest ball of Twine in Minnesota." You sing "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall".
• People refrain from mentioning ANYTHING about Weird Al for fear of you talking about him for hours and breaking out the album of concert photos! (Ack! Worse than a Grandma!)
• People think you're strange when you headbang to polka music
• Red heart boxers have a special meaning for you
• The aforementioned little person can point out everyone in the band in every video from 1983 to 1999.
• The last person who mentioned "Wierd Al Yankovich" to you was never seen again.
• The number "27" has "some special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you."
• The number 27 holds some special significance to you
• The only Cd's or tapes you have in your car are "Weird Al".
• The only reason you became a vegan is because Al is a vegan.
• The only reason you took accordion lessons is so you can playaccordion just like Al.
• The song "It's All About The Pentiums" has special significance to you in more reasons than just being an Al fan, a computer junkie, and a clueless newbie
• They did manage to find the pancreas of the last person who reffered to Al as "Frankie Yankovic's boy" in your presence.
• Weirdal.com is the page that shows up when you start up your browser.
• When in a music store, you yell at the manager for not carrying Al CDs
• When it was revealed to me a young relative of mine wrote to Santa and included on her list that she wanted "Weird Al" gift wrapped in a box (with air holes) for me... Woo Hoo ..yes Santa!!
• When listening to a song from a polka, you can't help but add the "Hey! Hey!" and switch to the next song.
• When my fav radio station recognizes my voice and knows my name, and refers to me as the "President of the Weird Al fan club" and the stations program manager gives you his private e-mail address to keep him updated with all Al updated info... he he!
• When other fans think of naming their future children after Al or related persons..characters names...you know what I mean.
• When some asks you what you want to be when you grow up you say, "I want to be "'Weird Al' Yankovic"!
• When you ask your boss for a day off, he asks “Where's the concert this time?”
• When you carry a photo of yourself with Al in your purse.
• When you clean out your refrigerator you sing, "Livin' in the Fridge".
• When you computers screen saver comes on it is the "Weird Al Inside" screen saver!!
• When you hear an Al 'target' on the radio you think "Oh they're playing Al!" and you start singing, only to find that by the second chorus, it's not Al, but the original
• When you start making X-mas gifts relating to anything Al...
• When your computer has problems you find yourself singing "It's All About the Pentiums" constantly and sulking.
• Whenever you hear the phrase "Your boring, miserable life" you have a feeling that he's talking about you
• Whenever you ride a bus you start singing "Another One Rides the Bus".
• You annoy others by relating anything from conversations to something from an Al song or video.
• You are terrified that tow trucks are lurking around every corner, just waiting to take your car the minute you turn away...
• You arrange all the Al CDs in order of release in the music store
• You ask every stewardess you meet if her name is "Amy"
• You begin to go into convulsions if you go more than 27 seconds without Weird Al.
• You bought the Authorized Al on eBay.
• You break into the Yoda Chant in public, complete with hand motions.
• You buy spatulas as decoration.
• You call your local radio station and request an Al song, listen religously to that station for 2 weeks, then call them back in tears saying "WHERE IS MY AL?!?!?! I WANT MY AL!!!!"
• You camp outside the record store to buy Al's latest CD as soon as officially 'released'
• You camped outside your local record store the night before Al's album, "Running with Scissors", went on sale and you were the first person to get a copy!
• You can list every Al special (music video, Al-tv etc) in which Dr. Demento has appeared
• You can name 27 "27 sightings" from Al-related things.
• You can spell "Weird Al Yankovic" correctly
• You can spell out Al's full name using the Periodic Table Of Elements
• You can tell you love your boyfriend, simple because you think of him instead of Al for a change. (ok a little exaggerated, but funny!)
• You can't remember any of the original lyrics to any of the songs he has done parodies of, and you don't even care.
• You check amw-a and weirdal.com 27 times a day for updates
• You constanly request Al songs to MTV and VH-1 even tho you know they're nothing but teenybopper fodder and you painstakingly watch those channels in the hope that one of your requests got thru
• You count 27 references in your everyday life.
• You create some form of Al art
• You cry when you have to put your Al rareity up on eBay because you haven't any money for rent
• You don't need to buy "Roadside America" to see if Al was telling the truth when he said that all of those places mentioned in "The Biggest Ball OF Twine In Minnesota" really do exist
• You DON'T think that lenderhosen is gay
• You dress like Al every day.
• You exercise to all his Polka Medleys.
• You freak out if you see "Weird Al" spelled "Wierd Al"
• You frequently have an Al song stuck in your head (besides having an implated chip)
• You get plastic surgery so you can look just like Al.
• You got the Peter and the Wolf CD off of eBay for the low, low price of only $1,500!!!
• You hate anybody who hates Polka music
• You hate saurkraut simply because Al hates it
• You have "Weird Al" Yankovic bed sheets.
• You have a "Weird Al" shrine in your bedroom and you worship it every day.
• You have a chip implated in your brain that plays "Yoda" over and over and over 24/7
• You have a list of “27 WAYs to Get Out of Work so I Can Go To an Al Concert”
• You have a need to "spread the word" of Al to everyone you meet
• You have a pet hamster named Harvey.
• You have a really old an unopened can of Spam in your house (for 'sentimental reasons')
• You have a special shelf that displays your prized spatulas.
• You have a strange version of OCD in which you must do everything in 27's or terrible things will happen.
• You have a Weird Al bumper sticker.
• You have at least 3 Al CDs in your CD-changer
• You have built a shrine to Al using an idol made entirely out of mashed potatoes, at which you daily give a sacrificial offering of burnt twinkies.
• You have dressed up as Al for Halloween.
• You have dressed up as someone else in the band for Halloween.
• You have managed to wear out 27 copies of UHF.
• You have pictures of Al taped to the walls in your room and you kiss every single one of them before you go to bed at night and when you get up in the morning. You even talk to them!
• You have pictures on your desk at work of Al and the guys.
• You have seen UHF so many times you've lost count, but you're pretty sure it's over 27.
• You have Weirdal.com listed first in your 'Bookmarks" or you have it set to be your start-up browser site
• You have written a parody of an Al song.
• You have your own "Weird Al" web page and you spend every waking moment of your life updating it.
• You have your own personal 27 list
• You hum "Like A Surgeon" whenever you're around doctors
• You judge a man/woman solely by the shape of his/her nostrils.
• You keep a computer file or floppy disk chock full of your favorite online Al pix
• You know Al's hair is NOT a perm
• You know Al's manager's name
• You know Al's middle name
• You know all of Al's clothing sizes, his shoe size, the brand of toothpaste he uses, and what he eats for breakfast in the morning.
• You know every single word to "Alberquerque" and can recite it staying true to every single idiosyncrosy in Al's voice
• You know every single word to every song Al has ever written.
• You know NOT to ask Al to parody a certain song just because you want to hear him do it
• You know that Frankie and Al are NOT related
• You know the band's first and last names
• You know the words to the "Yoda Chant" by heart!
• You know what TWS stands for AND you've eaten one
• You live in a split-level cave 20 miles below the surface of the earth.
• You make a yearly pilgramage to Darwin, Minnesota, to visit the Twineball.
• You make an Al website or at least have an Al reference in your Handle
• You name your hamster "Harvey"
• You never leave your car for a single moment because you *know* that the tow trucks are laying in wait
• You never say "Me too!" fearing you'll get called a "Brain-dead AOLer"
• You often lose your balonga sandwiches, only to find them weeks later in your pants
• You often sit in a bathtub filled with solidified mayo
• You often trade Al-related tv footage with your fellow AlHeads
• You own 27,000 copies of Al's newest album, "Running with Scissors".
• You own at least 3 Al autographs
• You own at least 3 Hawaiian shirts
• You own at least SOME type of accordian
• You own every single Al-bum
• You petition CBS to bring The Weird AL Show (all 13 eps.) back on the air and/or that or you think that CBS should've let Al do whatever the heck he wanted
• You play "One More Minute" and sing it at the top of your lungs over and over again after breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend.
• You play your Al CDs in the car with the windows rolled down and the volume at full blast
• You post a 'quiz' to alt.music.weird-al
• You practically punch out someone's lights is they say "YankoviCH"
• You pray every day that an accordion salesman will come by your door.
• You put that picture of you with Al on all your Christmas cards.
• You refer to 2 Looney Tunes characters as "Pathetic Coyote" and Sadistic Roadrunner"
• You rejoice in the band constantly picking on RubTn
• You run around yelling at the top of your lungs "I'm alive, I'm alive can you hear me world? I'm alive!"
• You scare the new staff at work by singing the "Truck Driving Song" at the most inappropriate moment.
• You score pretty darn well on You Don't Know Al
• You sing "Weird Al" songs in the shower every day.
• You smile when you see a mop
• You think Coolio should CHILL OUT!
• You think every single bus that passes by is Al's tour bus
• You think Jay Leno should CHILL OUT!
• You try and convince your family that the perfect family trip would be to go to the "Biggest ball of Twine in Minnesota".
• You try and do the hand motions to Dare to be Stupid while driving.
• You try to guess every song that Al will parody and/or polka on his next album while you're listening to his current one
• You visit Al's official web page www.weirdal.com every single day.
• You want to buy cans of Spam, Twinkies, Ding-Dongs, Oreos, etc. at the store, not to eat, just cuz it's it's funny.
• You want to touch Al's hair, just too see if it is as soft as it looks.
• You watch your "'Weird Al' Yankovic Live!" video every single day!
• You wear your Al tour t-shirts ...or any other wearable Al stuff as much as you can!!!
• You wonder if uhf stations still exist
• You wrote CBS a very nasty letter when they cancelled the "Weird Al" show.
• You're jealous of anyone who has met Al because you haven't.
• You've actually made a list like this one.
• You've been to every single one of Al's concerts.
• You've considered buying a 'cone-bra' (but not necessarily wearing it)
• You've gone thru the Alberquerque and Holiday Inn directories to find out if the World Famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn really does exist (PS- it does!)
• You've gotten an Al-related tattoo
• You've had dreams that have included Al
• You've lost more than one date due to your strange eating habits
• You've played "Eat It" backwards.
• You've put an Al quote in your sig at some point in your life
• You've put pictures of RJ Fletcher, Kenny G and Prince on your dartboard
• You've submitted at least 2 questions to Ask Al (4 if you subscribed to the Midnight Star)
• You've thought about making a list like this one.
• You've tried and failed to build your own pirated satellite brodcasting system so you can take over the airwaves of a major video music channel
• You've waited outside in the freezing cold by the stage door, against the wishes of security and against the Band's advice, to catch a glimpse of the guys
• You've written Al a fan letter (or you at least have an unsent one or a rough draft)
• Your alarm clock plays "Calling' in Sick today" when it rings.
• Your boss asks if you play accordion because of all the bumper stickers mentioning accordions/polkas that are on your car.
• Your boyfriend teases you about wearing hawaiian print shirts to turn you on.
• Your favorite color is every color not found in nature
• Your four year old can sing "Headline News" flawlessly, and does so, with special emphasis on the word, "wiener," in the middle of Wal-Mart. (And, yes, that DID happen to me...You do reap what you sow.)
• Your hamster died while trying a Harvey stunt
• Your implanted chip is programmable
• Your lisence plate and/or lisence plate border is Al-related
• Your naturally curly-haired daughter tells all her friends she is "Weird Al's" Love Child. (No, that one HASN'T happened---yet.)
• Your opening screen on you computer has an Al photo and ..
• You're proud of the knowledge that your little child/sibling/etc. will one day hear someone talk about Bermuda (the place) and think they're talking about Bermuda (the person).
• You've camped out at the theater to be the first one to buy tickets.

BTW, these thing are now online. start at:
http://web.InfoAve.net/~rkanderson/spectrum/red/weird_al/fanlists/27ways.htm

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