From: (Boardwalk7)
Newsgroups: alt.music.weird-al
Date: 24 Dec 2000 04:41:56 GMT

Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house
not a creature was stirring
not even the mouse

The stockings were hung
by the chimney with care
in hopes that St. Nich-AL-us
soon would be there

The children were nestled
all snug in their beds
while visions of sauerkraut
danced in their heads

And mama in her kerchief
and I in my cap
tried to figure out which songs
were legit from the 'Nap

When out on the roof
there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my barcalounger
to see what was the matter

Away to the window
I flew like a flash
tripped over my remote control
and fell with a crash

The moon on the crest
of the newfallen snow
gave the luster of midday
to whatever I could throw

When what to my wondering
eyes should appear
But the old rusted frame
of a Plymouth Belvedere

And a curly-haired driver
with a hawaiian shirt and vans
I knew in a moment
it was the Al man

More rapid than eagles
his Al-Fans they came
And he whistled and shouted
and called them by name

Now Diva, now Elvis
EJ-fan and Sandy
Now Amanda and Fred
and all Julies and Tanny

To the top of the roof
to the top of the wall
Good thing I majored in architecture
don't want this house to fall

As I drew in my head
and was turning around
through the patio door
Al came in with a bound

His eyes, how they twinkled
his dimples how merry
kinda still miss the glasses
and that moustache so hairy

I asked him St. Nich-Al-us,
Why are you here?
After two years of touring
are you bringing us more cheer?

A wink of his eye
and a twist of his head
soon gave me to know
the band was behind me instead

The songs, how they sang them
even  Al-bu-kur-kee
and even gave me UHF
on director's DVD

The gifts filled the stockings
more than I had planned on
even $10 off coupons
from  weirdalstore.com

I asked him his thoughts
about downloadable Napster
he said I've heard better music
from Harvey the Hampster

I asked how many more trips
were scheduled for his task
he said at least 27
but did you really have to ask?

He spoke no more words
but went straight to his work
Stuffed the stockings with twinkies
then turned with a jerk

And laying his finger
aside of his nose
and giving a nod
wiped it on his pants (ewwww)

Away to his car
St. Nich-AL-us flew
with Bermuda, Steve Jay,
Jim West and Ruben too

St. Nich-AL-us will be
in your town when he's able
and as soon as I can find
my car's jumper cables

But I heard him exclaim
as his car made such noise...
Down in the workshop
all the elves are making toys...


Chuck Miller
Al-Team 514