Transcribed by "Hemog0blin"

Here is the transcript of the Wherehouse Music Chat from a few weeks ago.. I
especially like his discussion of my name! Woo hoo! Check it out!

Hemog0blin
~~~~~~~~~

Wherehouse Lounge Chat Transcript
-with "Weird Al" Yankovic July 15th, 1999

Steve White: My name is Steve White. It is 6:00 on the West Coast. It is time
for the Wherehouse Lounge. Wherehousemusic.com Russia - Wherehousemusic.com

Weird Al: What about Guam?

Steve White: Is there still a Russia? You know how weird I am feeling.

Weird Al: How weird, Steve?

Steve White: I have Chardonnay and Captain Crunch. I am in a weird mood and it
is good my guest is Weird Al.

Weird Al: Hey STEVE! Good to see ya man!

Steve White: Good to see you man. It is the internet. It is the beauty of the
show.

Weird Al: You can say anything!

Steve White: We are trailblazers.

Weird Al: Whooo! Dang!

Steve White: Anybody get that joke? How are you?

Weird Al: I'm doing well, thanks for asking.

Steve White: You don't age. You and Dick Clark.

Weird Al: Yeah, me and Dick. Like this. We got the secret formula.

Steve White: You look the same as always.

Weird Al: Well the scary thing is in a few years I'll start looking like Dick
Clark.

Steve White: Wait a second that is Dick Clark. Your hair. Different.

Weird Al: It's still on my head. Yes.

Steve White: This is going to be so much fun.

Weird Al: It's just growing out of my hair, I can't stop it.

Steve White: How are we going to do this for an hour. I took a comedy viagra.

Weird Al: I can't wait for it to start! This is so great. I'm feeling at home
here

Steve White: There you go.

Weird Al: I feel much better, thanks. {action} putting legs behind his ears.

Steve White: Downward Dog. Weird Al is blowing himself. Everyone from Prussia
to Guam has seen you. You are very flexible.

Weird Al: Why, thanks! I do my best.

Steve White: You got me on the hair thing. I can do this. Stuck like velcro.

Weird Al: {action} laughs!

Steve White: I got you Weird Al.

Weird Al: That's pretty good.

Steve White: Last week we had Tracie Spencer.

Weird Al: What is it? You're building up to the big Tracie Spencer question. Is
somebody actually transcribing this?

Steve White: That is the beauty of it. There are two women back there. Slave
labor. They have to type everything we say. Every word.

Weird Al: {action} laughs!

Steve White: People without speakers see it on their screen.

Weird Al: That's amazing! Unbelievable!

Steve White: Unbelievable. So Weird.

Weird Al: I can do that too, but it's all AAAAAAAAAAAA Okay

Steve White: Call me Black Steve It is the Weird and Black show.

Weird Al: {action} making "Weird" gestures

Steve White: Would you like Captain Crunch.

Weird Al: Do you have any crisps?

Steve White: I have Crisps.

Weird Al: Quisp It's my favorite cereal of all How did you get that?

Steve White: I will drop it off with your people.

Weird Al: It's all made out of the same stuff

Steve White: It is styrofoam. It is softer than Captain Crunch.

Weird Al: Yeah, the texture. You can hurt yourself with Captain Crunch

Steve White: The Qrisp is soft. I like Quisp. All the problems can be healed if
everyone had a cereal to talk about.

Weird Al: I feel like we're related somehow.

Steve White: I can get you that. If you are not getting this, Quisp is a cereal
made in America in the 70s.

Weird Al: You should carry it around with you, just have it in the trunk. In
case of emergency.

Steve White: I never even saw Quake. If anybody out there can get me some
Quake. I'll take one box. You know how the show works. For every question you
answer correctly, you take off clothing. Your fan base has expanded by one
million. Expanded because of the worldwide web and wherehouse music.

Weird Al: Dang! That's amazing! And Prussia, my sales in Prussia are going
through the roof!

Steve White: Polka ...Pressure...Polka

Weird Al: Polka-Prussia an alliteration there!

Steve White: I didn't hear a word.... Wouldn't that be something.

Weird Al: Quake is probably made in Prussia

Steve White: Quisp made in Prussia since.... What now?

Weird Al: It's Prussialicious

Steve White: We have questions here.

Weird Al: So let's take some questions! Okay

Steve White: Hey Jackie how about some questions?

WH Moderator: When is your single coming out?

Weird Al: Never, never! My new record label doesn't believe in releasing
commercial singles, so just the album is coming out.

Steve White: Is that why? You have been in this game a long time.

Weird Al: You see how that works? The MAN be keeping me down, Steve.

Steve White: Ain't that some s.... Who is this man? The amish

Weird Al: You know, the MAN, the Amish, the Amish are keeping me down.

Steve White: Jebediah let my people go.

Weird Al: {action} laughs!

Steve White: The single is not coming out.

Weird Al: So you have to buy the album, I'm sorry.

Steve White: It came out June 29th I believe.

Weird Al: Hey, very good!

Steve White: A lot of people don't do their homework. I do my homework.

Weird Al: That's why I came on this show, 'cause I heard Steve does his
homework.

Steve White: You think Pat O'Brien does his homework. Is that your natural
hair?

Weird Al: Yeah, look, look. It's attached. It is. I kid you not

Steve White: Would you ever think about straightening it? We are going to....

Weird Al: I wore a short blonde wig in a video and the girls are going "hey,
why don't you cut your hair, it looks really good short" I am listening to the
album and how did you get the rights.

Steve White: I am listening thinking this is Star Wars.

Weird Al: Yeah, well, I got George Lucas' permission. I wrote the song two
months before seeing the movie. I checked out all the websites and I don't know
how they did it, but they had it on there. And I didn't want to approach George
with the lyrics to the parody before the movie was released because it would be
a little suspect.

Steve White: A little Weird. The day it came out. You lied to them basically.

Weird Al: Actually, they knew a long time in advance that I was going to be
doing it. I approached them last December saying, "Hey, I hear you've got a
little movie coming out" and they were really supportive and got the joke.

Steve White: The whole Jar Jar Binks thing. If there are any black people who
look like Jar Jar Binks you have more than racial problems to deal with. Let it
go.

Weird Al: {action} laughs!

Steve White: What school was that?

Weird Al: There was a guy in my 9th grade P.E. class that looked just like Jar
Jar Linwood

Steve White: From the Lindwood. More questions?

WH Moderator: When is your "Running With Scissors" video coming out?

Weird Al: Good question. I don't know. Not in the near future. We haven't
discussed it yet. But in the future.

Steve White: Has it been shot?

Weird Al: Two videos have been shot. There you go!

Steve White: NYU Film School. You cut it yourself? Don't tell me you edited it
too?

Weird Al: I'm not the editor, but I work with the editor and hover over him I
do my own kraft services and I do it all!

Steve White: Clapper loader that sounds disgusting.

Weird Al: Clapper!

Steve White: You directed a Hanson video?

Weird Al: What up with that? Well, you know, it's Hanson. Whatever I can do to
somehow bond with Hanson

Steve White: Called you?

Weird Al: Their peeps called my peeps, and we worked out a deal. They wanted to
do a Titanic parody and I figured if we could get Gloria Stuart that would be
cool

Steve White: Or Gloria Steinem.

Weird Al: Any Gloria

Steve White: She didn't hit on you did she?

Weird Al: And I directed an academy award winning actress and it was great. it
went well

Steve White: You didn't know it was that or.... More questions. People love
you.

Weird Al: I need numbers

WH Moderator: Joe in CO: Al, is it true that you did say that you weren't going
to do any more songs about food? If it is, why did you do the song "Grapefruit
Riot"?

Weird Al: I don't think that I was never going to do another song about food. I
wanted to stay away from it for a while because I had written so many. In the
80's I had an entire compilation about food.

Steve White: Whoever that is back off. Stay away from the superlatives. Is
grapefruit a food?

Weird Al: So I just wanted to stay away from it for a while.

Steve White: Back off writer 1874. I don't know whether this is male or female.

WH Moderator: I thought your mustache was so sexy, not to say you're not sexy
now, but any chance you'll grow it back the way it was?

Weird Al: It's growing back, even as we speak. >Look

Steve White: Vincent Price walks in.

Weird Al: You can even take a picture of me without the moustache and draw it
back in.

Steve White: Get one of those. Market it. Get one of those Weird Al things with
a mustache.

Weird Al: Very good idea

Steve White: Have your people jump on that.

Weird Al: We’ll talk, we'll talk

Steve White: I need more gel...for that. Let's talk. I have hagglers on my side
too. Anything you want to say to the world?

Weird Al: Hello WORLD!

WH Moderator - Pector says: Al, I built a monument to you in my backyard out of
mashed potatoes. Will you play my birthday party?

Weird Al: Play what? Pin the tail on the donkey? Some kind of mashed potato
game?

Steve White: Why would somebody build a tribute to you out of mashed potatoes.
Hopefully they are living in Idaho. Where are you from?

Weird Al: You mean spiritually or metaphysically? People think I'm an East
Coast kind of guy, but I'm from L.A

Steve White: Al

Weird Al: And if you can't remember if I'm from L.A. think L.A. spelled
backwards.....AL

Steve White: I can't believe Shaquille passed up for an academy award.

Weird Al: Hello people, hello Academy!

Steve White: A cute little white girl.

Weird Al: Oh, you're not writing in!

Steve White: There is a cute white woman on my computer. That is all I am
saying world. Why did you dub yourself Weird Al?

Weird Al: I don't think I dubbed myself Weird Al, people were calling me that
in the dorms and it just kind of stuck

Steve White: The point is you went to college. He went to college, kids don't
do drugs.

Weird Al: Stay off the crack kids. Thanks for listening.

WH Moderator: Allison asks: Al, if you had the ability to travel back in time,
and could meet one person of the past- who would you choose to meet?

Weird Al: That's tough. Well, I think the answer is pretty obvious.....Tiny Tim

Steve White: laughing

Weird Al: Tiny's the man. I can learn so much from Tiny. Tiny's been a big
influence on me.

Steve White: Are you wearing a diaper right now? Not have to pee. Let's go. No
really who?

Weird Al: I think so. It makes it simple. I could go anywhere and not have to
worry.

Steve White: Crazy with 21.2

Weird Al: I'd probably go back and pay my credit card bill before the interest
rates went up.

WH Moderator: Ali27 asks: Al, what did you have for breakfast?

Steve White: Soy Milk. Come on if you are going to do it do it.

Weird Al: Well, let me think, I had some sort of maple crunch cereal with soy
milk

Steve White: If you put Soy milk on my Quisps you can't do it. I'll let you go
with 2%

Weird Al: All right, I'll go off the vegan diet for YOU

Steve White: I don't think Quisp is on the Vegan diet.

Weird Al: Was Quisp made out of veal or something? I don't believe it

Steve White: They are talking in my ear. They want me to touch you and move
your hair.

Weird Al: You have voices talking to you all the time

Steve White: God you are goodlooking.

Weird Al: Why, thank you Steve

Steve White: How old are you?

Weird Al: I'm 29...19. I'm turning the big 40 later this year

Steve White: You are going to be 40!!!

Weird Al: Yeah!

Steve White: You and Dick Clark. In stores right now.

Weird Al: Okay, me and Dick, as it were

Steve White: Are these good scissors?

Weird Al: Look, my CD! In your face people! Those are my scissors, we looked
for the perfect scissors to put on the album

Steve White: Don't use those, those are the good scissors. You know where you
can find this album. At the Wherehouse. You got a site?

Weird Al: Yes, www.weirdal.com. And there you go. Everything you'd want to know
about me on that one site

Steve White: The e comes before the i

Weird Al: Because it's werid

Steve White: That and receipt.

Weird Al: weird. But who's counting

Steve White: Punch aside we did that.

Weird Al: Alison, how ya doin'?

WH Moderator: llison 27: Al, what is your favorite song from the new album?

Weird Al: My favorite song has got to be the one I'm currently promoting called
"The Saga Begins". But they're like my children. It's hard to pick just one.
What's your favorite Alison?

Steve White: All about the pentiums.

Weird Al: Alison? Alison? Hello?

Steve White: How do you feel about sampling from a guy like Puffy. He doesn’t
sample from anybody. How do you feel about stealing from Puffy?

Weird Al: Puffy is my new best friend in the whole world. I love Puffy. It took
a long time to get permission to do It's All About the Pentiums and I called
him myself, and he got right on the phone and said , yeeaaa

Steve White: Is this Sugar Bear? Puf... Is that going to hold up in court?

Weird Al: And I said, I'd like to do a parody of your song and was wondering if
it was okay, and he said, yeeaaa

Steve White: Is it legal because it is oral?

Weird Al: And we followed up and got the contract

Steve White: What track is that?

Weird Al: It's track number ...I'm going to say...9

Steve White: You are damn good.

Weird Al: Yes! YES! Oh, Oh!

Steve White: Weird Al Yankovic Running with Scissors. Right here with Weird Al
Yankovic

Weird Al: It is my real last name

Steve White: Origin?

Weird Al: Japanese, or something

Steve White: Thank you.

Weird Al: No, I'm thinking of somebody else...Yugoslavian

Steve White: Big Polka influence on this album? What is going on there?

Weird Al: Well, there's always a polka melody on my albums

Steve White: What would I know. I am from the hood. Burbank.

WH Moderator: Tera asks: Al, I loved the "Al Unplugged" commercials on MTV,
will there ever be an "Al Unplugged" album...with just you and your accordion?

Weird Al: Just the accordion? Um. No!

Steve White: No money in that.

Weird Al: Again, never say never, but I don't think that will happen any time
this decade

Steve White: 16.95. They have all these area 51 things. People in the Quisps
have these secret....

Weird Al: It's like the Masons, secret handshake

Steve White: It is weird. I bought 14 boxes.

Weird Al: They put something in the Quisp. It's something.

Steve White: Nothing in the corn flakes.

Weird Al: Something they don't put in the Captain Crunch. And the soy milk kind
of counter acts it though

Steve White: Gets you back to the...Speaking of the Amish are you still cool
with Coolio.

Weird Al: I hope that Coolio is calmed down now. He was pretty upset about
Amish Paradise

Steve White: Really.

Weird Al: I was under the impression he had given his permission and he was
fine with it

Steve White: His song was sampled from something.

Weird Al: And after the fact after the album was out somebody asked him how he
felt about it and he said "I didn't sanction that and feel like he desecrated
my work"

Steve White: Yeah Stevie. Stevie just feel for the braids and punch that....
You are a man who cares.

Weird Al: So I wrote him a very sincere letter of apology

Steve White: Cut the guy a break. He is trying to make a million like you. We
have some questions here.

WH Moderator: evita 27: So Al, when did you see Phantom Menace for the first
time?

Weird Al: I saw it on May 16th at a charity screening for a Pediatric AIDS
foundation in Los Angeles.

Steve White: Right on, I did the Aids Ride.

Weird Al: Right ON! Hello!

WH Moderator: JerseyFanofAl asks: If you could swim in a pool full of chocolate
sauce, or a pool of whipped cream, which would you choose and why???

Weird Al: Hey! Oh man! I'd probably have to go with the chocolate sauce

Steve White: That is so racist. I don't know go ahead.

Weird Al: I meant the whipped cream

Steve White: That is so racist.

Weird Al: I refuse to swim at all, because it's RACIST! There you go

Steve White: Why the chocolate sauce?

Weird Al: It reminds me of that Ann Margaret scene in a movie and it changed my
life

WH Moderator: riquais wants to know: Hey Al, I attend the concert in Yakima,
Washington back in '96, the night of the lunar eclipse. Nice touch. The entire
evening I wanted to jump on stage and sing with you. Have you ever considered
allowing a fan to do that?

Weird Al: Oh Yakima! I remember that place!

Weird Al: I stenciled around that lunar eclipse. Why didn't you? Only you!
{action} singing

Steve White: She said she wanted to jump on the stage and sing with you. Have
you considered allowing a fan to do that?

Weird Al: Only YOU can jump upon the stage in Yakima

Steve White: Sometimes..... Next time...Just you Riquais.

Weird Al: Feel free, next time, but just you.

WH Moderator: Raquel127 asks: Hi Al! I was just wondering, how many times did
you see the Phantom Menace before writing the Saga Begins? See you in August!

Weird Al: Hey! Raquel...if that is your real name! Okay, me and Raquel got
something going in August

Steve White: I don't know what that means.

Weird Al: I think I already answered that, but I'll say it again. I wrote it
before seeing the movie and then tweaked it after seeing the movie

Steve White: Raquel has the commodore 64 so she is a little slower. Get a newer
computer Raquel.

Weird Al: Ahhhh, Okay

Steve White: In Yakima? I was born in the 60s, relax. Woodstock.

WH Moderator: guest33: what was your inspiration for your horoscope for today?

Steve White: See how about that?

Weird Al: Probably the astrology charts. Not a big uh, I don't put a lot of
faith in astrology and I know a lot of people who do, but I think it's on the
silly side

Steve White: Damn you mercury. Nuts.

Weird Al: But I'm actually starting to use the astrology charts for comedic
relief.

WH Moderator: guest35: So, Al, would you let Bermuda have a day off to come to
ALCON

2000?

Steve White: Who is Bermuda?

Weird Al: It's the Al convention they're planning to have next year. Bermuda is
my drummer. C'mon

Steve White: How am I supposed to know? What is in your hair? Are you going to
let him off?

Weird Al: Sure. Well, maybe for that one day. He’s a hard working drummer.

Steve White: He is the guy from Steely Dan.

Weird Al: Yeah

Steve White: How white am I. Steely Dan.

Weird Al: Okay, Bermuda, you got it

WH Moderator: WA, how well do you know Emo Phillips? I'll take off whatever
you'd like if you'd answer mine :(

Steve White: Weird Al.

Weird Al: That's me! You get it? You're on time delay aren't you? It's purely
platonic. Let me just get that right out of the way. We’ve been friends for
very many years and he's one of my closest friends. He's actually in my new
video. for It’s All About The Pentiums

Steve White: Wow where did you hear it. Wherehousemusic.com

Weird Al: This is the first you'll hear that

Steve White: Is he really a good friend of yours. If I walk by and see you and
Emo Phillips walk by I am peeing on myself.

Weird Al: I'm doing that just for no reason whatsoever because I got the adult
diapers on, as we speak

Steve White: A little wet and soggy.

Weird Al: The soggia begins

Steve White: He has a pentium 7 and I have a pentium 4. I can't keep up with
him.

WH Moderator: ACE27: I was outside of TRL when you were on TRL and you pointed
into the crowd. I was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, a bad hair day hat, and I had
the Running with Scissors CD in my hand. Were you pointing at me?(Keep up the
great work)

Weird Al: Hey Amanda! How ya doin'? Really, you were there in the crowd? Yes, I
was pointing at you! Right at YOU!

Steve White: That goes to you too. Can you see that. It means peace. That was
smooth. You thought I was an angry black guy.

WH Moderator: Kaster: Letterman or Leno?

Weird Al: Well,, hmm. Neither one has had me on their show so I'm going to
go....'cause it's RACIST

Steve White: It is so racist. Same as Yankovic

Weird Al: They collectively are the MAN that's keeping me down!

Steve White: It is Letterman and Leno. That is the man. If you wonder why you
got pulled over in Beverly Hills. Letterman and Leno.

Weird Al: I think Leno is mad at me because I used to steal his guests. We did
the Weird Al show next to the Leno show and whenever they'd come out of his
studio we'd grab em

Steve White: But you did that. You were vampiric in that sense. You find stars
as well. Fran Drescher. Michael Richards.

Weird Al: They were already stars. I mean they weren't like the Nanny or
Kramer, but they'd been around. Fran had done Saturday Night Fever and Michael
was on Fridays

Steve White: Like I am. Do they reciprocate?

Weird Al: yeah

Steve White: Have they called. Hey AL Thanks for putting me.... I am peeing on
myself.

Weird Al: I run into them from time to time in public. I ran into them at the
Star Wars premiere actually

Steve White: What the hell is going down my back. It is a velaceraraptor.

WH Moderator: hemoglobin: So how come you haven't announced your candidacy for
president yet? Times running out!

Steve White: I like that name Hemoglobin. Blue on the outside red on the
inside. Working. We are old.

Weird Al: Call back! we're old

Steve White: Dawson's Creek. Urkelos. Cut it out.

Weird Al: These kids today with their new cereals! 'cause it's a secret! Thanks
for ruining the whole campaign. We're moving on. I'm too depressed to talk
about it right now

Steve White: The man has a private life. He is a human being too. Just because
you know him as Weird Al doesn't mean he doesn't bleed.

Weird Al: {action} crying

WH Moderator: guest 55 : Al, MP3 and internet music have the recording industry
running scared. Will you ever release mp3s?

Weird Al: I don't need to because that's other people's job to steal it from me
and then put it on the Internet

Steve White: Ah hah. Taking away from pay.

Weird Al: If I were to do that it would eat into my own sales

Steve White: Does your mom do your hair? Not lately

Weird Al: No, no she doesn't, but thanks for asking

WH Moderator: guest 31: Good ole Al. Have you found some sort of a spiritual
awakening like Madonna?

Steve White: Have you found some kind of spiritual awakening like Madonna.

Weird Al: Well, my whole spiritual awakening revolves around Madonna. In fact,
I feel like I'm channeling Madonna every day.

Steve White: Maybe the girl in Yakima.

WH Moderator: cats rule 3 : What happened to the Weird Al show?

Weird Al: Gee, I think it's, uh.....CANCELLED!

Steve White: Cats Rule 3 wants to know.

Weird Al: It was on the air for a year

Steve White: Cancelled.

Weird Al: Now I'm free to run with the scissors!

Steve White: With all the other channels popping up. Food Channel...Did they
say we want to run your show again?

Weird Al: It's so mashuga Ah, no. no!

Steve White: Make it happen Nick At Nite or E or USA. Animal Planet.

Weird Al: Or the Chimp Channel

Steve White: Recycle.

Weird Al: C-SPAN

Steve White: What is Syphil and Ollie.

Weird Al: You don't know Syphil and Ollie?

Steve White: What is it?

Weird Al: I've seen maybe one episode and I thought it was okay. As far as sock
puppet shows go, it's right up there I suppose

Steve White: Uh hah. What about South Park?

Weird Al: I'm a big fan of South Park.

Steve White: Did you see the movie?

Weird Al: Me, Matt and Trey are like this, the three of us {action} gesturing.
I have not seen the movie, not yet. I have not had time

Steve White: Sticking in my back. It is one of these...You thought I was
passing out. This was sticking in my back.

Weird Al: That can kill you

Steve White: We spare no expense here at Wherehousemusic.com.

Weird Al: But I want to see that. Is it good?

Steve White: It was very good. They do a Terrence and Phillip thing at the
front.

Weird Al: You ruined it for me! Stop it!

Steve White: It is very good.

Weird Al: Okay

Steve White: We have your video. Booted up and ready to go....

Weird Al: Booted!?!

Steve White: Can we show the video?

Weird Al: {action} showing video. The Saga Begins

Steve White: Tina Turner called and said she wants her hair back.

Weird Al: It's funky though!{action} laughs!

Steve White: We are back live on Wherehousemusic.com

Weird Al: We shot that on Tatooine

Steve White: The backlot

Weird Al: In the Mojave Desert where it was 120 degrees PLUS

Steve White: Almost dropped your album, Running With Scissors

Weird Al: Don't do that!

Steve White: No. It is about time they do something, those damn teamsters.

Weird Al: We had a half dozen crew people dropping off because they had to lug
a baby grand piano across the desert

Steve White: Lights go out. Steve you are fired. Who directed?

Weird Al: That was me. You see. That's why I have no time. I direct, produce,
do it all

Steve White: Keygrip. Swinggang. Scenic. Can I say we have a lot of interesting
guests. You have a lot of questions.

WH Moderator: are you Jewish?

Steve White: Jew by Proxy.

Weird Al: Personally, I'm not Jewish and I live in L.A. and work in the
entertainment industry so I'm an honorary Jew.

Steve White: It is the worldwide web.

Weird Al: Worldwide WEB!

Steve White: I don't know. It says boog booker.

WH Moderator: the big booker: Do you think Costa Mesa will be your GREATEST
GREAT on your tour ?

Weird Al: Who is this? Mr. Bridges was my P.E. teacher in High School

Steve White: Oh really.

Weird Al: The big booger?{action} laughs! He's giving me the props!

Steve White: Did you get the...I don't know what that means. Is that cybertalk
or ebonics. Take my card.

Weird Al: The booker's giving me the props

Steve White: He wants to know. Aqua Blue. Purple. He is booking you right in
your ear.

WH Moderator: what a relief: Whose life was "albuquerque" based on?

Weird Al: That was an autobiography.

Steve White: Hmmmm

Weird Al: Everything in that song is absolutely true

Steve White: This is from the big booker.

WH Moderator: the big booker: Do you think Costa Mesa will be your GREATEST
GREAT on your tour ?

Weird Al: Yeah, two totally different people. Costa Mesa will be the greatest
Great on my tour.

Steve White: What does that mean?

Weird Al: We're playing Costa Mesa next week and for everyone going there it
will be the best concert in my career

Steve White: It will be the best concert. When I get back to Yakima...best
show.

Weird Al: and for those in the other towns I'm going to, they will be the best
concerts of my life

Steve White: I am not stupid. You are.

Weird Al: Movin' on!

WH Moderator: Wolf: How in the world did you comb your hair when it was
curlier?

Weird Al: Well, I comb it very slowly and it's very painful {action} screaming.
You see how this works. This is how I comb my hair, it takes hours and hours.
Don't make me do that again

Steve White: Whoever wrote that in don't do that again.

WH Moderator: carla: Al, Please tell Bermuda he's doing a great job on the web
site. How often are you able to be on the net and do you do IRC chat?

Weird Al: I am NOT your messenger boy! I try not to go on the Internet that
often. I use it for research purposes and goat porn

Steve White: Porn.

Weird Al: {action} laughs!

Steve White: I don't know. I don't have a computer yet. The people at IBM are
hooking me up as we speak.

Weird Al: No

WH Moderator: weirdalgrr: I saw you backstage at your concert, and you were so
shy, you wouldn't think you would be, why?

Weird Al: {action} laughs! I'm a very withdrawn guy. It's hard to get me out of
my shell. Being with you? Send a picture and resume and we'll talk

WH Moderator: 370: weirdalgrrrl I think your the greatest thing since sliced
bread, and you are like god, but really, I just wanted to thank you for your
many talents, you saved me from suicide. Thank You

Weird Al: Well, you know sliced bread is pretty overrated if you think about
it. Wow! That's pretty heavy. My pleasure.

Steve White: How do we get back to comedy from that. You got some weird
friends.

WH Moderator: – Guest 144: Al: Marty the Torsoboy here. You've mentioned that
you start writing songs on a computer w/ some midi stuff. Would you consider
releasing those demo midis so the fans could compare and contrast the rough
draft with the final product?

Weird Al: All right Marty!

Steve White: Torso boy are you out there? Who is he.

Weird Al: Torso, he's got his own verse in Albuquerque. I have to give Marty
the props

Steve White: You are on the internet.

Weird Al: Everybody knows Marty, c'mon now

Steve White: Drunken Dwarf and

Weird Al: {action}laughs!

Steve White: All this.... Too much yiddish in this room.

Weird Al: I try not to release stuff that's the low fi stuff. Dr. Dimento has
basement tapes that he puts out at Christmas time and I usually contribute a
track. But I don't like to put that stuff out to the mass market

Steve White: Release it. For your wife and kids. Chaching.

Weird Al: I'll have several albums ready to go in case. I got to get some wife
and kids now.

Steve White: Somebody drop some kids for Weird Al.


And here's part 2
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Weird Al: Where's that Weird Al girl? Where'd she go?

Steve White: She has those childbearing hips.

Weird Al: Yakima?

Steve White: Oh the suicide..... The suicide thing may be too heavy you can
skip it if you want.

WH Moderator: guest 149 Al, are you going to be on any episodes of South Park
(Keep up the rocking work)

Weird Al: Not to my knowledge. I took a tour of their studios and Matt made a
comment about getting me on the show some day but I think he was just saying
that.

Steve White: What about Dr. Katz? What about Marty the Torso boy?

Weird Al: Well, if I work on my neuroses and get messed up enough

Steve White: Do you do therapy.

Weird Al: NO, I'm pretty happy

Steve White: Parents.

Weird Al: People say I should do therapy. My parents are celebrating...

Steve White: You get to call them Nick and Mary.

Weird Al: No, I call them Mr. & Mrs. Yankovic

Steve White: Mazeltov

Weird Al: But they're celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary

Steve White: Mazeltov.50 years I'm looking at that same.... Are they having a
party?

Weird Al: They're going to go to Pizza Hut or something and really treat
themselves

Steve White: Get the New Yorker. Treat yourself.

Weird Al: I'll be doing a show. that night

Steve White: Here is $50 for 50 years.

Weird Al: I'll send them a check. Especially the tuna at the bottom. Who
doesn't like that?

WH Moderator: DO YOU LIKE YOGART?????????

Steve White: Yogart. Oh he is from Minnesota.

Weird Al: Like Humphrey Yogart, you know

WH Moderator: hemoglobin hey al.. was it bad karma that I lost my job the day
after buying your cd, Running With Scissors? And it's HemoGOBLIN not Globin..
but I’m glad you like my name

Weird Al: Oh, hey hemoglobin It's like the psychic network....

Steve White: He wants to clear up something. It is hemogoblin.

Weird Al: That's something completely different. I thought I was talking to
somebody totally different. Sorry Hemogoblin

Steve White: Sorry Hemogoblin. Who gives a damn. No we care.

Weird Al: Hey! don't dis my peeps, Steve

WH Moderator: guest 85 : What is the meaning of life?

Steve White: Hemogoblin. Oooh. Dress up like a sickle cell.

Weird Al: {action} laughs!

WH Moderator: what's the meaning of life

Weird Al: Life is a bowl of three-legged salamanders floating in an ocean of
puss

WH Moderator: boucher : Your recent move to directing for others is really
cool. Are there any other new sorts of work you've been wanting to try?

Weird Al: Why, thank you Boucher! Maybe I'll try the janitorial work

Steve White: Like the Mighty Gazab and the Flintstones.

Weird Al: And then I want to be the all powerful master of the universe and I'm
working my way up

Steve White: Kazoo was the guy on earth. He would go in the back room and cry
on tv.

Weird Al: I have a thing about that because kazoo ruined the whole Flintstones
franchise

Steve White: Really.

Weird Al: I was buying the whole thing and then they have a space guy1

Steve White: Mr. Slate and all that.

Weird Al: a space guy? That just stretched it too far

Steve White: What about when the way outs came?

Weird Al: Oh, they were cool

Steve White: That is where the fun is.

Weird Al: {action} singing, way out! WAY OUT!

Steve White: It is all the same. The Jetsons and Lucy and the Honeymooners.

Weird Al: It's all the Flintstones. It's all about the Flintstones baby!

Steve White: Bring a box in for crying out loud. Roberto Bernino. Look who just
came in.

Weird Al: Hey Roberto! I love you!

Steve White: Wherehousemusic.com. Quisps.

Weird Al: And you can get a crazy Quisp watch! I haven't had Quisp in so long

Steve White: See they have all this area 54 stuff.

Weird_Al:{action} opening box of Quisp

Steve White: Remember.

Weird_Al:{action} scarfing them down

Steve White: Give him a second. A moment of silence.

Weird Al: Mmm hmmmm mmmmm mmmmmmm {action} chewing

{action} crunching. They're so good 

Steve White: I know.

Weird Al: mmm mmm mmmmm

Steve White: I have the watch. Can we get you some soy milk?

Weird Al: OH, they're GREAT!

Steve White: If you are under 30 you don't know what I have in my hands. That
is Quisps. And I have the watch.

Weird_Al:{action} drinking now to wash the Quisp down

Steve White: It comes with a tin that you keep.

Weird Al: I am in just another time and place now. mmmm

Steve White: I know they brought one for me but for you all three.

Weird Al: Get out of here! Steve you're my new best friend

Steve White: You got Quisps.

Weird Al: Whoooo!

Steve White: Wherehouse Lounge. This is the show.

Weird Al: THis is the place! Livin' Large!

Steve White: All across the world.

Weird Al: Hello World, once again!

Steve White: Hello Dr. Evil. I shall call him mini-me. Funny movie.

Weird Al: Yes, it was. Not enough product placement in that movie though

Steve White: Starbucks. For the Weird Al Yankovic. Are these Nikes?

Weird Al: They could have gotten a few more plugs for the Weird Al Yankovic
album

Steve White: Pick that up.

Weird Al: I think they're probably Nikes with the swoosh carefully airbrushed
out

WH Moderator: meganurd: Al! I've seen you in concert and I've seen you really
run around during the show? Have you ever injured yourself on stage?

Weird Al: Many times. I literally walked off the stage with my accordion and
fell several feet. And they thought it was part of the show.

Steve White: Look how he bleeds.

Weird Al: They thought, "oh that wacky guy, what a goof ball"

Steve White: You know what is so beautiful about Wherehousemusic.com. People
can buy the album just by clicking on the button.

Weird Al: It can't be that easy! They can just click on the button and like....
that is amazing!

Steve White: Click on Buy Now and it will put it in your shopping cart.

Weird Al: That has nothing to do with their sexual preference though?

Steve White: I am bi now... You can buy it now. Push the button. The internet
thing is so...We just sold 5.

Weird Al: Whoooo! ALL RIGHT! Did Meganerd buy one?

Steve White: Those five people that bought. Write back in and say buyer number
one. We will get you some Quisps.

WH Moderator: doorman: AL, Where did you get the idea to do the "TRUCK DRIVIN'
SONG"? Were you once a truck driver?

Weird Al: No. No, I never was, but I just figured it was about time to channel
the spirit of the truck driver

Steve White: The last hit was convoy.

Weird Al: And we hadn't had a big truck driver hit since convoy and it was a
call back

Steve White: That was a long time ago.

Weird Al: bringing it all back now

Steve White: We have a great big convoy tonight. A couple more questions and I
will let you go to eat your cereal.

WH Moderator: Yank27: Al, have you ever considered starting your own clothing
line? I'd wear AL- Brand shirts.

Weird Al: Not seriously, but maybe I'll start one right now! Like all bran!
Al-Brand, I like that. Thanks for the idea

Steve White: Al brand.

WH Moderator: guest 173: Al, on one episode of your kids' show, you were
animated in a "Flintstones" cartoon. Was that animated by someone who works at
Hanna-Barbera?

Weird Al: Yes, I was. We had to get Hanna Barbera's permission and we thought
as long as they were doing that we'd get some work out of them

Steve White: Of course. The voice of Wilma Flintstone. Also dead.

Weird Al: The voices of Wilma and Fred actually did it and the original
animators, and it was way over budget, but we did it

Steve White: Hanna Barbera on Cahuenga

WH Moderator: Were you a weird child?

Weird Al: NO, I've been saving it all up until right NOW! Why waste it on
childhood? Can I have more Quisp?

WH Moderator: Who is a better Star Trek captain, Kirk or Picard?

Weird Al: Tough call. Tough call. I think Picard is balder. Does that count?

Steve White: Internet blowing up. Tracie Spencer wants to know: Will you ever
cover one of her songs?

Weird Al: Okay.

Steve White: Who is next week? Gearwhore.

Weird Al: What? Gearwhore?

Steve White: Gearwhore

Weird Al: {action} laughs! I love Gearwhore

Steve White: Gearwhore here next week. Do you have a question for them?

Weird Al: My question for Gearwhore is: Will you ever cover one of MY songs?

Steve White: Last but not least. Weird Al you were a ton of fun. You have the
world. It is your oyster. Any appearances?

Weird Al: All across North America

Steve White: It was a pleasure having you.

Weird Al: Thanks for having me

Steve White: Weird Al Yankovic. Go out and pick up the album, Running with
Scissors.

Weird Al: Vic Vic Vic Vic Vic Vic Vic!!!!!!!!

Steve White: Buy the album

Weird Al: Al has left the building. Al has left the building

Steve White: We'll see you next week on Wherehousemusic.com

Weird Al: Goodbye!

~~~~
Hemo
The Interactive Music Poll
http://members.aol.com/hemog0blin/mus_poll.htm