"the difference between ideas and results is a good manager."
Random Thought...
"AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccckkkkkk!!!!!!!!! You brute! Knock before entering a ladies room!"
Another Random Thought...
"And the only thing the Borg left was this Amiga "
And Another Random Thought...
"Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended"
Still Another Random Thought...
"I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months - I don't like to interrupt her"
Yet Another Random Thought...
"An umpire's complaint: All those empty Slim-Fast containers around Dodger dugout"
Murphy's Law of the Day...
"Any inanimate object, regardless of its position, configuration or purpose, may be expected to perform at any time in a totally unexpected manner for reasons that are either entirely obscure or else completely mysterious."
Computer Tagline...
"Declarative programmers do it productively"
Today's Steven Wright Joke...
"Well, you know when you're rocking in a rocking chair, and you go so far that you almost fall over backwards, but at the last instant you catch yourself? That's how I feel all the time."
Today's 'You Might Be A Redneck If' (tm) Joke...
"Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds."
Today's Sniglet(tm)...
"Cabnicreep (KAB nih kreep) - n. The structural condition in which the closing of one kitchen cabinet causes another to open."
Today's Book Hype...
"Christmas for Baldies: Yule Brynner"
Today's Actual Headline...
"ENFIELDS COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE"
Today's Signs You Are a Computer Addict...
"When your wife says "If you don't turn off that damn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the "else" clause."
Today's Computer Glossary...
"Conventional memory: remembering what you did at COMDEX "
Today's Daffynition...
"Irony: Millie Vanilli on a Karaoke machine."
Today's Einstein Quote...
"The next World War will be fought with stones"
Today's Hannibal Lecter Joke...
"Why does Hannibal eat so many people? Because he's a HUMANitarium!"
Today's They Do It...
"Nurses do it with patience"
Today's Old Never Die...
"OLD DIVERS never die, they just flop"
Today's Mark Twain Quote...
"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today"
Today's Oxymoron...
"Running slow"
Today's Confused Us Quote...
"when it comes to giving, some people stop at nothing."
Today's Star Trek(tm) Tag...
"Commander, tell me about your sexual organs. - Soren"
Today's Star Trek (tm) Quote...
There comes to all races an ultimate crisis which you have yet to
face .... One day our minds became so powerful we dared think of
ourselves as gods.
-- Sargon, "Return to Tomorrow," stardate 4768.3
Today's Star Trek TNG (tm) Quote...
Perhaps there's a residue of humanity in Q after all. Ensign, en-
Don't bet on it Picard.
-- Star Trek. Picard and Q, "Deja Q"