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TV Died-Saturday Night

6:00 PM

ZBS Animated News--News
Sick Bay Watch--Sci-Fi Adventure
It's the latest futuristic space medical adventure, a Star Trek spinoff starring Pamela Anderson and Gates McFadden as life-saving doctors aboard the Starship Enterprise.
MBC Claymation News--News
Wolf Cheap Cartoon News--News
Sh--dig--Music
XYZ Computer Generated News--News
Movie--Sci-Fi Adventure
Tonight on the sci-fi flick "Star Trek XXIV: The last voyage ever?", Finally, the tireless original crew is put on ice and their bodies transported to Captain Picard's ship for storage until better reunion stories develop.
This Old Outhouse--Home Improvement
Bob Villa is the brunt of a practical joke when Norm Abrams replaces the toilet flapper with a clapper. Dick Clark and Ed McMahon guest. (60 Minutes) Thanks to Rik Anthony K-Hits 96FM
College Football--Sports
Penn State vs. Penn and Teller
Movie--Children
"Willi Vanilli and the Chocolate Factory" (1990) stars the lip synching duo Milli Vaninni, who run a chocolate factory in this poor remake of the 1972 Gene Wilder classic, because they, of course, don't sing, just like on their albums.
BJ and The Chicago Bears--Adventure
College Football--Sports
Tonight on "The Cereal Bowl", it's a matchup between Rice (1-9) at C.W. Post (5-2-3).
Front Chat To DBC--Public Affairs
We answer your mail and make fun of them.
The Brady Bunch--Comedy
Carol wonders why Mike has been away for a long time, until the script writers finally come to terms and write in his death in light of Robert Reed's real-life death. Don't knock the Bradys, Eight is Enough did the same thing to Joan Bradford 15 years before.
Milli Vanilla Ice--Whitebread Rap Concert

6:30 PM

Channel 4 News--News
Channel 12 News--News
Channel 8 News--News
Channel 3 News--News
Channel 10 News--News
Channel 2 News--News
Channel 5 News--News
Channel 7 News--News
These eight stations above decide to switch their newscasts onto other channels, either to other markets, in a quest to further confuse the viewer on what channel they are watching!
Bowling For Nothing--Sports
See bowlers bowl until they're blue in the face.
The Brady Bunch--Comedy
On the "Home Demolishment" segment, Tim Taylor destroys the house of The Brady Bunch so they'll never have a reunion movie again. Next stop: The Waltons.
Czech It Out--Variety
it's a fun look at Czechoslovakian pop music, humor, dancing and videos.

7:00 PM

60 Minutes--News
Mike Wallace finds out why every Grambling College has a black quarterback. Dan Rather investigates the puzzling case of Americans shooting harmless rodents. And the other guy doesn't do a thing.
Fidget--Sitcom
Star Drek: Risa--Comedy
DEBUT: Hyperspace hijinks and holographic hanky-panky are just another day for the staff of the Federation pleasure planet Risa, in the latest series spinoff. The hotel doctor protests when a newphase-cloaking birth control device is challenged as a violation of the Prime Directive. Meanwhile, the barkeep introduces "Flaming Hydrogen" shots of synthohol. Max Wright stars as Capt. Stubing. Rick Ducommun: Pakled porter (thanks to John Giudice)
Barbara Mandrell and The Chipmunks--Variety
They decide to do the Macarena.
Spam!--Comedy
A restaurant comedy specializing in serving only one kind of meat.
The Putrid Family--Comedy (well sort of)
The family performs a concert at a local prison. Rubin Kincaid is kidnaped and held as a prison b**ch. Laurie's braces are picking up police scanner broadcasts that aid in stopping the riot. Robert Downey Jr. stars. Thanks to Rik Anthony K-Hits 96FM
The Big Valley Girl--Western
Like, there's this big valley, ya know, and like, there's this girl who lives there on the ranch, like she's really heavy into that sort of thing. Okay, so she loves to pull out vegetables fresh from the ground at her father's farm, for sure, and she like eats them without washing the dirt out of them, like really grody to the max, fer shurr, like, ohmygosh, she gets like grossed out and like throws up her vomit, like that's really really nauseating, like,...barf out, gag me with a spoon, gross, I'm shurr, totally.
America's Flubbiest Home Videos--Pseudo Reality
Handycam dropped into wedding cake during cutting song. Lens cap left on by sole witness to governor's assassination. Local independent producer's award won by Scottish Terrier. Host: Bob Maggot (thanks to John Giudice)
The Brady Bunch--Comedy
A widowed Carol adopts the Olsen twins from the recently-cancelled "Full House", but instead takes in the rest of the family, as they too were homeless when their show got cancelled.
Star Trek: The Very First Generation--Sci-Fi Adventure
Solid Mold--Music
Barry Manilow and Dionne Warwick sing moldy pop ballads nobody with a right mind listens to anymore.

7:30 PM

Daddy Puke Show--Comedy
Mooseturd Pie--Comedy
Stars Bull Moose Jackson still cooking you-know-what and trying to get a complaint.
The Brady Bunch--Comedy
On the "Married With Children" segment, The Bundys duel the Bradys in a Family Feud showdown with rifles! The Bundys chicken out.

8:00 PM

Dr. Quinn, Texas Ranger--Adventure
Suddenly Caroline--Comedy
C*O*P*S--Live Crime Action
The cops travel to the local donut shop, and just eat donuts for the whole program.
The Stoned Flints--Drug Cartoon
Lois or Luis and Clark: The New Misteradventures of Superman--Comedy Adventure
Superman is in shock when he discovers that Lois has been slowly transforming herself from a sexy vixen she was five years ago into a pre-operative transsexual man.
Buffy the Spice Girl Slayer--Camp Thriller
Movie--Adventure
Tonight it's the latest Star Trek sequel: "Star Trek and Star Trek The Next Generation Voyage down Deep Space Nine to meet Star Wars" where the gang must deal with Darth Vader who breaks the time barrier and joins their enemies: the Cardassians, Data must deal with the bickering duo of R2D2 and C3PO, Luke Skywalker has fun with beaming up and down with the transporter, and Princess Lea gets jealous when Hans Solo falls for the Betazoid Deanna as they romp in the airlock. Then stay tuned for "Ernest Gets Laid". Too small for the TV, too big for the screen, see it wherever you can!
Cosmos--Space Documentary
Carl Sagan discusses how planets can communicate with each other. Examples: Jupiter to Mars: "Hi Red!" Uranus to Saturn: "Gimme A Ring Sometime!" Neptune to Pluto: "How's Mickey Mouse?" Venus to Mercury: "Can I borrow a little of you for my thermometer?"
Movie--Comedy
Tonight on "WKRP In Cincinnatti: The Movie", Howard Stern is jock Dr. Johnny Fever with a 90s twist. Fever is fined hundreds of thousands of dollars by the FCC for saying the word "Booger" on the air, but since this is on HBO, he could have said the F-word and nobody would have noticed.
Family Feud--Game
In tonight's edition, familes settle the score with real rifles.
Taco Grande--Comedy
Another restaraunt sitcom, but takes place in East LA in the heart of the Latino community.
Don't You Eat That Yellow Snow!--Comedy
A comedy taking place in the Northern American tundras in Canada about eskimo life.
Movie--Puppets
Tonight on the movie-turned prime-time soap "Pinnocchio:The Teenage Years", in Neverneverland, watch the people get in for a shock tonight when Tinkerbell loses her....(You want to know? You have to watch!)
The Facts Of Life--Comedy
nah, who cares! If you already know, skip this program and watch someting on ABC or CBS instead.
T.J.'s Hookers--Crime Drama
The Waltons--Cannibal Drama
The parents eat their young.
Who Are the Jeopardy Judges?--What is a Special
An inside look at the group who question the questionable questions in the form of an answer. (thanks to John Giudice)
Eight is Enough--Dramedy
Tom is incensed and concerned simultaneously when Nicholas brings his new best friend home. Michael Jackson guest stars.
3rd Stone From the Sun--Sitcom
Moldy 80's Videos--Music
Silly rock styles and over-produced sequences highlight this showcase of early 80s video music, which, come to think of it, beats anything Alanis or Jewel can ever put out today.

8:30 PM

Mad About Frasier--Comedy
Punny Quest--Adventure
The Bruces--Comedy
Stars a bunch of friends all named Bruce.

9:00 PM

Walker, Texas Podiatrist--Adventure
Seinfeld--Comedy
In this episode, breaking from its usual format, this episode is acually about something.
America's Most Wanted--Crime Fighting
John Walsh announces the most dangerous man, at least to Rupert Murdoch: Ted Turner!
The Brawlrence Welk Show--Wrestling Pop Music
TV Reunion Showcase--Comedy
the final reunion of its kind airs as "The Love Boat Sinks"
Zack, Zoey, Duncan, Jane, Manny, Moe, Jack, Larry, Curly, Shemp, Abbott, Costello, Bob, Carol, Ted, Alice, Mike, Greg, Peter, Bobby, Cindy, Jan, Marcia, Marcia, Marcia, Freddie, Charley, Henrietta, and David Tanny--Sitcom
Star Trek: Toyager--Kiddies' Science Fiction
Movie--History
On the movie "Smitty and Pocahontas" aka "Saved By The Belle", English Captain and Indian Princess cavort in Old Virginia until he almost loses his head over her until she rescues him at the last minute.
World Heavyweight Boxing--Sports
Live from Atlantic City, Mike Tyson battles in the ring vs. Pac-Man. It's anybody's guess who will chew the other out first.
The Nobel Awards--Special
The Nobel Prize ceremony undergoes a few changes to become an annual network special with has-been hosts and many goofy production numbers, all in Swedish.
UHF--Comedy
A two hour-long show reminiscant of the old SCTV Network show from the 70-80s. Stars "Weird Al" Yankovic as the station manager and as a host of various TV hosts, plus supporting cast.
Star Drekkin' Across The Universe!--Comedy Adventure
An sci-fi comedy set in space about trekkers exploring the weirdest worlds "Star Trek" steered clear of.
Police Cutie--Crime Drama
Valerie Bertinelli stars as Sgt. Cutie who fights crime with her extreme good looks, so successful that the crooks are too overwhelmed by their raging hormones to fight back, and are easily wrestled to the ground, defenseless. Pierce Brosnan co-stars as Off. Remington Shaver.
College Football--Sports
It's the newest member of the post-season college bowl game family, this one pairing two teams vieing for the championship title in the Big Toilet Conference, "The Tidy Bowl".
Barely Essential--Drama
Genie Francis quits her successful General Hospital role of Laura to star in this prime-time flop where she runs a perfume empire. In the opener, Pepe Le Pew guests as the head of a French perfume line who seduces Tyger into producing a joint venture in America. This episode is a real stinker. Place your bets on how soon this network will pull the series.
Eight is Enough--Dramedy
Nancy, nearing 40, finally makes it big time as a model, but it turns out it's for a singing job at Carnival Cruises. She bows out, saying that she's just not annoying enough to do the job. Kathy Lee Gifford gets the job instead.
The Love Raft--Sitcom

9:30 PM

BoozeRadio--Comedy
We Forgot to Mention Kirk above...sorry--Sitcom

10:00 PM

Walker, Texas Fast Food Worker--Adventure
The Pretender--Drama
The pretender pretends he's a hard to find beanie baby. (60 minutes) Thanks to Rik Anthony K-Hits 96FM
The X-Files--Sci-Fi Drama
A rare alignment of the planets gives five post-teenage girls dangerous musical powers beyond their actual talented capabilities. The Spice Girls guest star.
The Hollyweird Palace--Variety
Movie--Musical
Made for TV remake "The King and I" (1995) The classic musical remade, this time, about a proper schoolteacher who attempts to bring book learning and Western civilization to a rock star's home in Memphis. Anna: Courtney Love. The King: Elvis Presley.
Larry Sanders--Comedy
The host gets into hot water when it is discovered that nobody watches the show since it's only on a pay channel nobody can afford, so HBO cancels him.
The Disco Report--News
Boogie on to a 70's Saturday Night Fever beat as the news of the week is lyrically told. Be sure to wear your polyester, platforms, and Afro for this show.
The Hills Of Blue Street--Crime Drama
The Hills Family move to a new house on Blue Street, but it's in the middle of a rough neighborhood in South Central L.A. where they are constantly assaulted, burglarized, mugged, and conned. The local police ignore their pleas for help, telling them that it's their dumb choice they moved in there in the first place.
Eight is Enough--Dramedy
The girls invite Jeffrey Dahlmer into their home to Tom's disapproval, but before Jeffrey could think of supper, the extreme sweetness by the girls drives him crazy and he leaves without a bite.
Boulder Hills, 90210--Drama
The REAL Pretender--Variety
Not to be outdone by Must See TV's idea of a Pretender, Rock Videos and Stuff gets Pretenders lead singer Chrissie Hynde and her band their own variety-rock show. Reunions of 80s new wave rockers and celebrations and silly sketches are featured.

10:30 PM

Chris Rock and Roll--Comedy

11:00 PM

News--News
The King Kong Family--Music
It's Really The News--Comedy
DBC Unplugged--Music
A live muscial variety show where demented artists play funny songs and comedians yuk it up.
Sisters--Drama
The four sisters are in a shock when they discover they have a fifth "sister" in the closet. Harvey Fierstein guests as their gay brother.
Jerry Springer--Full-Contact Discussion
Topic: "A Love Triangle Involving Gumby, Pokey and Goo"
Eight is Enough--Dramedy
Madonna makes Tommy her boy-toy as they duet for a video shoot on location.
Beavis and Rockhead--Cartoon
Hit Britney Spears One More Time--Game

11:30 PM

Stay Up with Jay Mailman--Talk
Jay makes fun of people far more interesting than he.
Movie--Comedy
"The Three Stooges Meet Charlie's Angels"
Saturday Night Live--Skitcom
Lorne Michaels does everything himself after firing the staff.
Arsenio Calls--Variety
Dick Clark's Rockin' David Tanny's Birthday--Music
The Iranian Crisis Update--News
Ted Koppel continues his commentary on the event since Novemner 1979, but somebody forgot to tell him that the hostage situation ended after only 444 days.
Movie--Comedy
The long lost flick "Abbott and Costello Meet Abbott and Costello", where they get into a heated argument over which of the pairs was on first.
Movie--Comedy
"Samarai Night Fever" (1978), John Belushi as a Samarai John Travolta in a disco floor.
Movie--Comedy
Tonight on the college comedy flick "Car Park Attendants", the workers have a wild time as they screech their customer's tires and dent their cars for fun.
Hare Kirishma's Rock Concert--Music
Boring New Age Videos--Sleepeze Substitute

12:00 MID

Politically Incorrect--Discussion
Scheduled: John, Paul, George, and Ringo join Bill Maher in a futile attempt at a discussion of the day's events.
Movie--Horror
On the movie "Dr. Frankenstein and the Baywatch Girls", a mad scientist (Jim Carrey) creates his own beautiful, shapely blonde actresses who look good in swimsuits, but cannot act if their life depended on it. Elvira, Mistress of the Dark hosts.
Global Thumb Wrestling Championships--Sports
Hulk Hogan battles Rowdy Roddy Piper for the title.
Jerry Springer--Full-Contact Discussion
Topic: "Teen Queen Rivals Confront Each Other In a Singing Duel". Tiffany. Debbie Gibson.
Eight is Enough--Dramedy
Mary appears on ER, but gets canned when the chief of staff finds her operating on George Clooney!

12:30 AM

Walker, Texas Delicatessen--Adventure

0:00 AM

Saturday Night Dead--Skitcom
The show is all taped and reshown before a dead audience.
Really M*A*D!!!--Comedy Variety
This episode does a complete imitation of "Saturday Night Live" circa 1976, which, considering how bad the original they're making fun of has been lately, turns out that the magazine is the inspiration of America's favorite late night comedy sketch program...M*A*D!!!.
Weird World of Entertainment--Whatever It Is
Jerry Springer--Full-Contact Discussion
Topic: "People Like David Tanny Who Make Stupid Websites Like TV Died!"

0:30 AM

Walker, Texas Masturbator--Adventure

1:00 AM

The Bomb Show--Game
A tasteless amateur talent show reminiscent of "The Gong Show", but you get bombed if your act does.
Classic Sports Network: Those were the Days--Documentary
Old sports geezers sit around and talk about their glory days prior to being placed in the nursing home. (60 minutes too long) Thanks to Rik Anthony K-Hits 96FM
Jerry Springer--Full-Contact Discussion
Topic: "Learning Your Wife Still Has the Wrong Transmission!"
Howard Stern Gets His Mouth Washed With Detergent--Talk

1:30 AM

Walker, Texas Plumber--Adventure
Movie--Comedy
"The Three Stooges as Paramedics"
Charlie Rocket's Angels--Adventure
The former SNL pottymouth recruits the original Angels to fight crime committed by his has-been costars from Saturday Night Live's infamous 80-81 season.
Movie--Comedy
"Abbott and Costello Meet The Sex Pistols"

2:00 AM

21 Jumpers--Crime Drama
An all-aerobic team solves crimes.
Full Contact Cribbage--Sports
Jerry Springer--Full-Contact Discussion
Topic: "Mike Tyson Confronts Ross Perot!"

2:30 AM

Walker, Texas Brick Layer--Adventure

3:00 AM

Jerry Springer--Full-Contact Discussion
Topic: "Learning That Your Gay Partner Is Straight, and That You Yourself Is A Transsexual."

3:30 AM

Walker, Texas Stand-Up Comedian--Adventure
Movie--Comedy
"The Three Stooges Defeat Japan in WWII"
Movie--Comedy
"Abbott and Costello Get Drafted"

4:00 AM

Jerry Springer--Full-Contact Discussion
Topic: "Infidelity." President Clinton. Hugh Grant.

4:30 AM

Walker, Texas Sailor Man--Adventure

5:00 AM

Jerry Springer--Full-Contact Discussion
Topic: "The Cult of Teletubbism!"

5:30 AM

Walker, Texas Priest--Religion
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