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E-Pay was sent in by Marc Christian.
ePay (parody of eBay) NEW! Outrageous HIGHER FEES "I Want Your Money" picture of Uncle Sam wearing a hat with "ePay" on the top white stripe, and on the bottom black stripe is a white star on each side of it 16 oz. Pure Greed
Idea Submissions
Here is a complete list of what I have so far (for a grand total of 20 Product Parodies), and a checklist: Peskies Mighty Hog Boots Cowboy Drink Clamshell's Goop To Go Bleck Sham-peww Honey Raid Scram Crackers Sneakers Bar Fool-Aid Grunt's Botch Whiskey Bugweiser Junkers Fishhey's Bar Messy Messquick Deadstone Tomb Whine Mud Root Beer Glopicana Gassmann's Motor Oil Spread Safeway Reject Peww-nut Butter Stickers Preserves Tree Slop Applesauce Flirt ************************************************************************ Peskies (Parody of Friskies Mighty Dog) MIGHTY HOG Grime Cuts For Swine (And Piglets) Pure Swill Nit Wit: 55 Pounds (For Large Pigs) (Picture of a rather large pig on the label, eating a great big pile of this stuff!) ************************************************************************ BOOTS (Parody of Boost Nutritional Energy Drink) Red-Eye Cowboy Drink 86 Proof! 86 This Drink! Buckshot Flavor Blended in Old Cowboy Boots Contains 8 Ounces of Hard Booze Junk Food Non-nutritional (Picture: Red-Eye whiskey ["XXX" on the glass] -- with cowboy boots [with "smell lines"], hence, the name!) ************************************************************************ Be ready to swerve! Clamshell's (Parody of Campbell's Soup To Go -- Microwaveable) GOOP To Go! Leftover Clam Chowder (with old clam shells) Awful! 10.75 Goopy Ounces (Picture: A bowl of leftover clam chowder [and old clam shells], with "smell lines" all above it -- and the "Campbell's Soup" kids getting sick! Phew!) ************************************************************************ Drive all the girls to your door with BLECK Sham-peww Original B.O. (Picture: A guy with long, blond hair [just covering the ears] and blue eyes. He has just washed his hair with this "Bleck" stuff, with "smell lines" above his head. And, there are these three girls. They're being driven to his door, all right! -- the door going out! -- with clothespins on their noses! Hilarious!) ************************************************************************ Nab This Co.! (for making this product!) HONEY RAID Scram Crackers The "No" Snack! NEW! Dynamite Flavor! Give it to your worst enemy! Active Ingredient: Nitroglycerine (Picture: A modern fighter plane dropping these "Scram" Crackers from aloft. They're going BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!... -- while the people down below are running for their lives! -- screaming in panic! They really work!) ************************************************************************ SNEAKERS Bar Packed with luscious rubber, fabric, and laces! Hungry? Grab a Sneakers Bar! The Perfect Sole Food Give your kids a treat -- they eat like goats anyway! (Picture: A young billygoat, eating his Sneakers bar!) ************************************************************************ Fool-Aid Hard Drink Fruitcake Flavor 86 Proof You'd have to be a fool to drink it. Contains 2 whole quarts! And that's a lot! (Picture: The Fool-Aid pitcher is three sheets to the wind! -- as he spills the Fool-Aid onto the floor. "Hic!" Background Color: Black -- it's after hours!) ************************************************************************ William Grunt's Unblended Botch Whiskey William Grunt & Daughters Unlimited An Independent Family Company for Zero Generations 1.75 Litters Deported from Scotland (William Grunt's Picture -- possibly a warthog ["Oink! Oink! Grunt! Grunt!"] -- or perhaps a caricature of this same general theme) ************************************************************************ Bugweiser Lowly Servant of Beers Fit for Bugs (Ants, Roaches, etc.) 12 Ounces Will Drive You Buggy! (Picture: About the same as Budweiser -- but add some ants, roaches, etc.) ************************************************************************ JUNKERS (parody of Zonkers caramel-coated popcorn) Caramel-coated Nuts (and Bolts) Lots of Iron in Every Package Total weight: 500 Pounds! (Picture: It's pretty self-explanatory. Lots of caramel-coated nuts and bolts all over the package -- the hardware kind! Black background.) ************************************************************************ FISHHEY'S Bar Fish-flavored Milk Choke-late Net weight: 4 Fishy Ounces (Picture: A smelly fish on the wrapper) ************************************************************************ Messy Messquick Industrial Strength For Strong Constitutions Choke Hate flavor 30 Messy Ounces (Picture: The Messquick Bunny has just taken a big drink -- PTOOOO!!! He has all the constitution of a scared little rabbit! Don't forget the big "M" on the sweatshirt!) ************************************************************************ DEADSTONE (Parody of Livingston [Burgundy]) Tomb Whine Blood-red Transylvania You'll dig it, all right -- as deep as you can! (Picture: A Count Dracula logo at the top, and a graveyard at the bottom. Background label color: Not white, but BLACK -- it's the middle of the night, of course!) ************************************************************************ Straight from the Everglades MUD Root Beer Made from roots, mud and all! Muddy Flavor (Picture: It's a mug of bubbling mud -- complete with swamp reeds and an alligator! Ewww, gross!) "See you later, Alligator!" ************************************************************************ All Pulp Glopicana No Juice The Original 100% Just-ground Oranges Peels and all! 96 Non-fluid Ounces ************************************************************************ OLD Poor quality Gassmann's (Parody of Fleischmann's Vegetable Oil Spread) Hi-Octane Blend Made with Motor Oil Hi-Octane Taste to Match Motor Oil Spread Net Amount: One Gallon (Picture: Possibly a large automobile garage [or auto parts] -- or perhaps something else of this same, basic idea) ************************************************************************ Rejected SAFEWAY REJECT creepy peww-nut butter CREEPY 40 Ounces Come to Life (Picture: No logo ƒ?" but "SAFEWAY REJECT" in big, red capital letters. Peww-nut butter all covered with a greenish mold and slime. Don't forget the "smell lines" -- and lots of 'em! Ewww!!!) ************************************************************************ STICKERS (Parody of Smuckers Strawberry Preserves) Cactus Preserves Made from the barrel cactus Guaranteed to wake you up! 48 Prickly Ounces (Picture: Not strawberries, but a barrel cactus!) ************************************************************************ TREE SLOP 100% IMITATION APPLESAUCE Imitation Taste All Artificial Preservatives OLD PLASTIC BOTTLE New ones are expensive! So are apples! 23 Sloppy Ounces (Picture: "TREE SLOP" emblazoned across a mess of spilt applesauce!) ************************************************************************ Get your thrills with... Flirt (parody of Squirt citrus drink) Guaranteed fresh! Hot, smoochy taste! 20 Sexy Ounces (Picture: Instead of the usual Lemon-Lime logo, it would be a pair of puckered-up lips! -- with a hot, new lipstick! -- say, a Hot Pink in color!) ************************************************************************ All of these are Reina's ideas -- through richkomm of SF
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