skit: Trinity 3000 computer helps (DAA) act as priest & travel agent for (GAM)
mono: host sings "Mack The Knife" excerpt & says he's looking for cat handcuffs
skit: Mike McMack, Defense Lawyer (host) hits on (GIR) after cross-examination
COMM: Little Chocolate Donuts made JOB's decathalon world record possible
skit: Czechs Georg (host) & Yortuk (DAA) Festrunk flirt with (JAC) & (GIR)

skit: (DAA) dubs a Hercules (JOB) movie into English by doing all the voices
show: Bad Opera- (host) suffers larynx lock during Die Goldenklang performance
show: Bianca Jagger (host) talks with "close personal friends" at dinner table
COMM: BIM prefers Swill, the viscous mineral water dredged from Lake Erie
MISC: "The Acid Generation- Where Are They Now?"- elderly hippies in a TOS film
misc: (host) sings "Life Is Like A Bowling Alley" during (BIM)'s sermon

skit: the Farbers run into host while spending an evening at the Playboy Club
skit: spaceships of Planet Of The Men & Planet Of The Women use sexual weapons
COMM: vacant (JAC) uses Angora Bouquet soap to wash her brain & her face
show: Sex In Cinema- love scene actors obey letter but not intent of Hays Code
show: Listening To Great Music- JOB on images evoked by "Ride Of The Valkyries"
skit: (BIM) entertains mourners by sawing the coffin of the deceased in half
news: Nadia Comaneci (GIR) says "come see me perform while I'm still cute"

misc: musical guest & host as Art Garfunkel try to do "The Sounds of Silence"
skit: neighbors (BIM) & (GIR) investigate Coneheads' odd Halloween treats
skit: girl Judy Miller (GIR) pretends to star in her own television show
show: Consumer Probe- Irwin Mainway promotes some unsafe Halloween costumes
comm: host speaks on behalf of incompetents like Roseanne Roseannadanna (GIR)

cold: Don Corleone (JOB) doesn't want to see anymore Godfather on television
song: host performs "I Can See Clearly Now"
comm: Carter (DAA) is mad at the public for not supporting his energy program
show: Tommorow- Tom Snyder (DAA) interviews host
skit: The Young Caucasians sing a whitebread version of "What'd I Say" for host
song: host performs "What'd I Say"

skit: Samurai Psychiatrist- Futaba helps Mr. Dantley with his problems
MISC: "Life After Death"- a TOS film has accounts of "take a number, be seated"
misc: ALF & TOD narrate a montage of images documenting their history
skit: Jackie Onassis (GIR) realizes TOD is choking, not playing charades
comm: motel items are "sanitized for your protection" in a thorough manner
show: The Rickey Rat Club- host & Ratketeers spend Anything Bad Can Happen Day

skit: Bad Musical- the story of a Dutch microscope pioneer in Leeuwenhoek (JOB)
misc: speaking in a foreign language, ANK tells a joke & tries levitation trick
skit: Married in a Minute!- everything goes right for young women new to NYC
news: victim of CBS early retirement age Eric Sevareid (BIM) says goodbye

NOTE: there was a contest to host SNL and Miskel was the winner
cold: college student (JOB) introduces elderly girlfriend (host) to his parents
mono: Buck Henry [real] realizes that host has succumbed to SNL's drug culture
comm: LAN says the self-conscious & the extremely obnoxious should go on dates
show: E. Buzz Miller's (DAA) Art Classics- paintings of naked broads on display
COMM: even on a bumpy road, backseat circumcision is OK in the Royal Deluxe II
show: Sartresky (DAA) & Hutch (JOB)- philosopher cops handle hostage situation

mono: host electrocutes self, tells how to be a millionaire & never pay taxes
show: Family Feud- Coneheads win despite unconventional answers
skit: Georg & Yortuk Festrunk meet their Croatian computer dates (JAC) & (LAN)
news: Roseanne Roseannadanna rambles from lack of heat to disgusting food

cold  MOD & Tina Turner (GAM) join to perform "Rollin' On The River"
mono  host does stand-up about the time he played Shylock when back in college
skit  Pete Dionasopolis' (JOB) Olympia Cafe features a tripartite menu
skit  X-Police (DAA) & (BIM) terrorize a cohabitating couple (host) & (LAN)
news  Roseanne Roseannadanna's topic wanders from an aneurism to toenails
skit  lounge singer Nick "Winters" does his act at a ski lodge
skit  KLOG deejay plugs album of nerds Todd (BIM), Lisa (GIR), & Spaz (host)
misc  JAC breaks in with a news flash- giant lobsters are headed for NYC
skit  Rhonda Weiss & credit card company employee talk & smoke some dope
MISC  "Attack Of The Giant Lobsters"- large seafood invades Rockefeller Center
misc  host describes the scene as the lobsters wreak chaos in the studio
misc  a plan to cook the crustacean menace is developed

show: Sermonette- Church of Confustion holy man (CHC) tells a rambling story
skit: in bed after having sex, (CHC) & (GIR) evaluate their performance
misc: ALF sings a tribute to parents Joe & Phoebe [real], then gets mad
COMM: use Craig's (JID) Travellers' Checks- he never leaves his apartment
MISC: in a GAW film, LAN tracks down the source of her bad day's sound track
song: musical guest sings "Just The Way You Are"

cold: GIR answers "What happens when SNL is out of show-opening ideas?"
skit: Samurai Night Fever- Futaba & brother (host) go disco dancing
show: E. Buzz Miller's Animal Kingdom- film footage shows copulating fauna
misc: ALF's brain tumor hurts his joketelling, so TOD solicits audience support
news: Roseanne Roseannadanna strays from dental hygiene to Woodstock

show: Looks At Books- nerds Todd & Lisa talk about the fate of the class of '77
skit: stage door guard (JOB) keeps musical guest & others out of a Kiss concert
COMM: the Kromega III watch is so complex, it takes two people to make it work
show: Tomorrow- Tom Snyder (DAA) fails to hide a battered husband's identity
MISC: "Don't Look Back In Anger"- a TOS film shows elderly JOB at SNL graveyard
song: host sings "Scarborough Fair"

misc: leprechaun-suited GAM sings "Danny Boy" while his message scrolls by
skit: a new waitress (host) quits her job at the Olympia Cafe
COMM: Royal Deluxe II {rerun}
skit: Bad One-Man Theater- five simultaneous portrayals in An Evening With...
comm: Nutrifix intravenously delivers instant breakfast & amphetamines
skit: Prymaat discovers Beldar's having an affair with student driver (host)

comm: enjoy a roto-broiled lagomorph meal at Dell Stator's (DAA) Rabbit Hut
comm: movie trailers for horror flicks that aren't up to host's standards
skit: vampire hunters (host) & (JOB) try to kill off Nixon's (DAA) memoirs
MISC: a WAW film- Mr. Bill's circus results in his own dismemberment
news: through a process of elimination, BIM makes his Oscar picks
intr: host introduces the musical guest as "Loaf" as in meet Loaf.

mono: host's manager Sid Biggs (host) kills time, puts two cats in his pants
skit: piano teacher Mr. Brighton (host) gets fresh with Lisa during a lesson
skit: Danger Probe- a fop (host) & his servant (GAM) battle rednecks in a bar
misc: host tries to break record for escaping from a chest during Chekhov play

skit: Judy Miller entertains herself while expressing dislike for her sister
skit: Josh Ramsey, V.D. Caseworker (host) deals with teen couple (LAN) & (BIM)
show: E. Buzz Miller's Exercise World- Christy Christina (LAN) works out
COMM: Weekend Update reporter DAA works overtime, but doesn't accomplish much
news: JAC & DAA do a Point-Counterpoint about the neutron bomb

NOTE: Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi portray The Blues Brothers
cold  Don Kirshner's (PAS) Rock Concert- musical guest sings "Hey, Bartender"
mono  host removes watches, wallets, clothing from audience member (BIM)
COMM: (GIR) eschews subtlety with Hey You!, the perfume for one-night stands
skit: the Festrunks wait for a pair of foxes to arrive at their bachelor pad
skit: medieval barber Theodoric of York's (host) patients endure his remedies
skit: time stands still while (host) & (GIR) go "Dancing In The Dark"
news  DAA complains that GAM didn't get enough marijuana to "test for paraquat"
news  JAC & DAA do a Point-Counterpoint about federal aid for abortions
song: host & SNL Band perform "King Tut" to honor the ancient Egyptian ruler
skit  admitting extramarital affairs is foreplay for a couple (JAC) & (JOB)
MISC  ballerinas & hip hop dancers perform Swan Lake together {rerun}
skit  on their lunch break, businessmen eat like pigs at Troff 'n' Brew
skit  at the science fair, Todd & Lisa compete with Charles Knerlman (host)
song  muscial guest sings "I Don't Know"
show  Next Week In Review- psychics (JAC), (host), (DAA) predict the news

show: Sex Test- host poses multiple choice carnal knowledge questions
skit: (host)'s vision leads him to an Encounter with the Coneheads
skit: Nick "Springs" & Unavox SL-120 entertain newlyweds at The Honeymoon Room
misc: Father Guido Sarducci (DON) tells how people literally pay for their sins

skit: (BIM) offers image-improving ideas to the Sodom chamber of commerce
skit: LAN sings Madam Butterfly aria while MOD makes a Soiled Kimono
skit: before the prom, parents Marshall (host) & Enid (JAC) advise Todd & Lisa
news: BIM tries to call Jackie Onassis to get her reaction to The Greek Tycoon