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11-14-1983: After finally getting cable-TV installed in his home, Dave complains about his monthly bill of $80, considering all he can get is Australian wrestling.
11-14-1984: Mr. Curious makes his debut appearance, asking pedestrians what's in their shopping bags/purse/wallets. It's Late Night's version of "Fun with Rupert."
11-14-1985: Sam Kinison makes his network debut on Late Night. Sam screams about African famines, "Live where the food is!" Dave screams back, "Shoot me!"
11-14-1987: Arsenio Hall introduces The World's Most Dangerous Band at Comic Relief II.
11-14-1987: On Comic Relief II, Arsenio Hall introduces The World's Most Dangerous Band.
11-14-1988: Dave called the parking garage on 48th St. (to pick up his car). To ensure an accurate call, Dave enlisted Phone Technician John Keeveny, Dailer Joe Furey, Talker Barbara Sheehan, Attorney Drew Castner, Spy Dave Ganasky, and Fire Captain John Serato. When the call fails, Dave destroyed the phone with an axe.
11-14-1989: The Top Ten G.E. Executives Who Are Currently Paying Hush Money to Prostitutes is censored, so it's replaced with the Top Ten Reasons Congress Deserves a Pay Hike - 2. Close to half have never been indicted.
11-14-1990: Top Ten Ways To Get Out of Jury Duty - 6. Say you're looking forward to hearing judge sing -- like on "Cop Rock." 4. Fly into a rage whenever Norwegians are mentioned.
11-14-1991: Paul does an impression of Dick Clark, circa 1984, introducing Run DMC.
11-14-1994: Dave invites a payphone answerer from outside, Laurie Bird, to co-host the show. Her brother is asked to spend the hour buying root beer, then finding some straws.
11-14-1994: Top Ten Signs the Michael Jackson / Lisa Marie Marriage is in Trouble - 3. She's making eyes at other androgynous freaks.
11-14-1995: Dave uses the speaker phone to get someone to bring him pizza. Later, thirty folks show up with boxes, and slices are handed out to the audience. Also, it's the government shutdown, so Dave calls the Pentagon, misdials, finally gets an answering machine, and hangs up. He's given an ax, cuts the phone cord, and hands the phone to an audience member.
11-14-1995: Top Ten Non-Essential Government Jobs - 2. The guy who stands near the White House asking blondes, "You wanna meet the President?
11-14-1996: "Hard Copy" report on Paul, who "went nuts". Also, Dave glues his artificial tooth back in.
11-14-1996: CBS Mailbag: (1) Dave slices zucchini with blue cards; (2) Dave made his own hairpiece--this makes about 5 billion jokes about his hairpiece? (3) "The Living Club"; (4) Leonard Tepper as Ed McMahon, then Ed McMahon himself.
11-14-1996: CBS Mailbag: In Letter #4 we get Leonard Tepper as Ed McMahon, then Ed McMahon himself.
11-14-1996: Top Ten Ways Michael Jackson Is Preparing for Fatherhood - 8. Reading Dr. Spock's "How to Raise a Weird-Ass Child."
11-14-1997: CBS Mailbag: (1) new restaurant "Planet Janet", where everything is super-sized? (2) Dave and Paul disagree on where to go on vacation; (3) above; (4) big song and dance to announce to Gerry Mulligan that he's fired.
11-14-1997: CBS Mailbag: Dave promotes CBS's new police drama "World's Most Lesbian Police Chases."
11-14-1997: Fake video "Too Hot for the Late Show".
11-14-1997: Top Ten Ways Saddam Hussein Can Improve His Image - 4. Star in a new situation comedy "Dharma and Greg and Saddam."
11-14-2000: "Pedestrian Theme Songs" is a good bit. (1) Guy in the park with no arm control; (2) guy gets his shot on TV till a pretty woman skates by on rollerblades; (3) Will Lee as Michael Bolton about "Single Yellow Man"; (4) Felicia as Sarah Vaughn about a woman walking with a bicycle; (5) Devo-esque one about an old man standing still ("can't... move... too... much... starch"); (6) "Who Cut the Sleeves Off?" (7) Guy chasing someone who stole his pants?
11-14-2000: Alan has an announcement: he wants to congratulate Hillary Clinton on her landslide Senate victory. The lights go down, and the sex talk begins. He tries to pick her up, and mentions biting her shoulder. "Is it pleasure; is it pain? Madam, my darling senator, it's simply too close to call."
11-14-2000: Arturo Sandoval (trumpet) sits in with the band.
11-14-2000: Ball State University Fighting Football Cardinals Fighting Football Cardinals Highlights, sponsored by the most powerful man in show business: CBS president Les Moonves, who enjoys golfing, horseback riding, and romantic cruises on the Mediterranean. "Now back to you, duckface." Ball State played Toledo at Toledo. We see a Thomas Puckey 22 yard FG, then halftime. Toledo won, 31-3. Ball State's next game is against the Connecticut Huskies at David Letterman Stadium. "Go Cards." Sponsor is the most powerful man in show business, CBS President Les Moonves. (Former actor, touches his head, Dave's a sack of manure, etc.)
11-14-2000: Dave complains about his Tuesday dental work. He now has 33 teeth in his mouth?
11-14-2000: Tonight's Clinton Classic Joke involves the Titanic. After the joke, Calvert wanders out, rips up the cue card, stands next to Dave briefly, and walks out.
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