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This Dave in History December 16

12-16-1985: After the first Opening Remark joke, Dave rips up the cue cards and dumps them in the trash can outside the studio, then tours the green room and shows off the guest ice bucket. After returning to his desk, Dave displays a framed push-button and push-button pamphlet given to him by NBC's new corporate owners, General Electric. Later, Dave is back in the green room, retrieves the ice and throws it into the audience. Meanwhile, the Top Ten list is missing, so Barbara Gaines rushes in and hands it to Dave, who makes her to read it out loud. Also on tonight's show: Another installment of "Peace Through Dramatization Players": No Time for Love," where Dave offers the troupe some G.E. appliances, which burn down their home.

12-16-1986: Darlene Love begins a tradition during the Christmas holidays: a performance of the only Christmas song Dave likes, "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)."

12-16-1987: It's Paul's annual Cher Christmas impression of "O Holy Night."

12-16-1992: Top Ten Signs You're Not Getting a Christmas Bonus - 3. You had this great idea for something you called "The TripleCast." 2. You're Gallagher's assistant and you forgot the watermelons again.

12-16-1993: Dave remembers the last time he spent Christmas: Fade to Dave in a tux sharing champagne with super leggy models. Paul doubts this, forcing Dave to admit his true memories: sitting at home, scarfing down a bowl of eggnog.

12-16-1993: Top Ten Real Reasons Les Aspin Is Leaving - 9. The nation's Defense Secretary shouldn't be scared to death of spiders.

12-16-1994: Remote: Dave Talks to Cabbies.

12-16-1994: Top Ten Signs Santa Doesn't Like Your Kid - 10. Kid's letter to North Pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!"

12-16-1996: Guest Matias Paluka, a 12-year-old weatherman, does a forecast.

12-16-1996: Paul and Dave wish you "the happiest of holiday seasons".

12-16-1996: Top Ten Signs Your Mailman Has Been Working Much Too Hard - 3. His wife complains that in the bedroom, he's not exactly "Mr. Zip."

12-16-1997: After the Late Show neighbors (see above) decorate the tree, a pastor from the audience puts sauce on top of the meatball.

12-16-1997: In a fake ad, Bill Gates pledges to give everyone Post-its, gum, and a nickel.

12-16-1997: Joe G is invited to bring a pizza from his shop and put it on the top of the Late Show Christmas Tree. Then Jimmy from the Bagel Cafe sticks a bagel above the pie; Sirajul and Mujibur then place a statuette of the Empire State Building atop the bagel. Finally, Rupert Jee tops it all off with a steamed meatball. Later, a pastor from the audience puts sauce on top of the meatball. Everyone, except for Jimmy, return on this date five years later.

12-16-1997: Top Ten Signs You're Watching A Bad Horror Movie - 9. Killer keeps saying, "I know what you had for lunch."

12-16-1998: Dave clips off the end of his tie.

12-16-1998: Guests The Vienna Choir Boys do "Carol of the Bells" and "Joy to the World". (In their honor, there are Vienna sausages.) Also, 23-year-old tornado chaser Marc Weinberg.

12-16-1998: In honor of the show's being aired in Hong Kong now, a sign is unveiled: "Welcome, Communists".

12-16-1998: Paul does "Christmas Pedestrian Songs", including "Guy in White".

12-16-1998: Paul writes a song for an audience guy, and Dave gives him a gift.

12-16-1998: Top Ten Things That Would Get Santa Claus Impeached (closing music: "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town").

12-16-1999: An audience member leaves due to a "bathroom emergency". Dave rants about not bing told when the guy returned (walking right behind Dave).

12-16-1999: Guest Jim Carrey apparently gives Dave a $3.5 million Faberge egg. Later, Jim "celebrates the New Year" (goes nuts).

12-16-1999: Know Your Current Events player Tina (Jackson, MS) actually knows that it's "America's Fastest Growing Quiz Sensation". She plays "Know Your Eating Utensils that Rhyme with Pork" (fork, spork).

12-16-1999: Pat and Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts. Kenny plays Celine Dion.

12-16-1999: The Turkish ping-pong guy appears in his underwear again.

12-16-1999: Top Ten Least Rented Christmas Movies.

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