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This Dave in History May 18

05-18-1982: Instead of giving his nightly Opening Remarks, Dave introduces "The Happy Clown" and asks Hal Gurnee to speak. From the control room come the melancholy sounds of "Ho, ho, ho; ha ha ha."

05-18-1983: Dave invades the Live-at-Five set across the hall and steals the Stanley Cup; New York Islanders Dennis Potvin and Bobby Bourne enter the LN studio to retrieve it.

05-18-1987: Late Night begins its week at Bally's in Las Vegas as Dave keeps a running total of staff gambling losses. By the end of the week, they will have lost $100,025. Throughout the week, Dave will introduce Jerry Vale in the audience.

05-18-1989: Top Ten Dog Science Fair Projects - 7. Using a Particle Accelerator To Separate Kibbles from Bits.

05-18-1990: A Friday Remote begins with a visit to a hardware store, but Dave becomes bored quickly and decides to instead spend the day at the beach with super leggy models from the Elite Agency.

05-18-1990: Top Ten Reasons Mills College Girls Don't Want Men Attending - 10. No more going to the library topless.

05-18-1993: A new segment makes its first and last installment: Dave calls La Cabana in Buenos Aires, Argentina, and asks the caller to play, "Do You Speak English?"

05-18-1993: Top Ten Other Changes in the CBS Evening News - 8. If your TV picture turns blue it means she's pregnant.

05-18-1994: Stupid Pet Tricks include a dog that jumps into a fish tank and retrieves cheese, another dog that does a Doberman impression, and a Collie that catches and retains three frisbees and a ball in its mouth.

05-18-1994: Top Ten Signs There Are Too Many Rats In New York City - 5. Personals filled with ads like: "Furry four-legged male cheese lover seeking mate"

05-18-1995: Day 4 in London: John and Martin Bedder make fish and chips for the entire audience, and Dave and Paul practice their soccer at Wembley Stadium.

05-18-1995: Top Ten Reasons John Cleese Could Not Be On Our Program (presented by John Cleese via remote) - 1. Frankly, I haven't the slightest clue who David Lettersby is.

05-18-1998: Dave's story about the market includes the quote "Bob, did you rotate the corn?"

05-18-1998: Matthew Perry is seen defacing a giant "Friends" billboard on Broadway. NBC is not pleased, as he uses paint that won't wash off as easily as first thought.

05-18-1998: Paul says he went to Cannes for Blues Brothers 2000. Also, tonight there's Sinatra music, as he died on Thursday.

05-18-1998: Top Ten Insulting French Nicknames for Paul Shaffer - 10. Le Petit Piano Monkey.

05-18-1998: Yet another contestant fails at "Please Stop Calling Me Chief."

05-18-1999: "Dave Spends the Day with a Star Wars Fan" bit with Rick Scheckman.

05-18-1999: Dave calls Hawaii to see if they say "Aloha" or "Hello" (apparently "Hello", but Dave eventually gets a Hawaii resident to say "Aloha").

05-18-1999: Fake clip of CBS version of "Joan of Arc" includes Bryant Gumbel as God.

05-18-1999: Pat and Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts (Kenny plays Barbra Streisand).

05-18-1999: Tonight's Secret Word is "polymer" for 300 damn dollars.

05-18-1999: Top Ten Signs Your Prom Date Is a Loser.

05-18-2000: "Les Moonves" appears dressed as Moses during Dave's monologue.

05-18-2000: Campaign 2000, starring Maria Pope: Special guest Rob Burnett. Opening sponsors: chimpanzees ("they make nice pets") and Giuliani ("what next?"). Paul admits stealing material from Maria the one night he actually contributed to Campaign 2000; he presented her dream as his own. We see the guy getting the bowling ball dropped on him again--he'll be on the show tomorrow? Sponsors: Crystal Clear Party Ice ("Don't feel like a loser")--Alan stumbles through the copy again, sort of.

05-18-2000: Helen Thomas recently retired, so we see a "tribute" to her.

05-18-2000: Know Your Current Events: Ann, a lawyer from Phoenix, plays Know Your Ugly Guys Dating Babes.

05-18-2000: Top Ten Restaurants That Failed NYC Health Inspections.

05-18-2000: We get to see the conclusion of tonight's "Murder She Wrote" movie.

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