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This Dave in History May 20

05-20-1982: Paul Simon appears throughout the entire show as Dave's sole guest, performing "The Late Great Johnny Ace." History repeats itself as circumstances beyond Paul's control force him to stop the song at the identical place when first performed at Central Park eight months earlier.

05-20-1985: Bad Phone Call: Police officer Paul Pereira calls his chief and tells him he lost his new badge.

05-20-1986: Chris Elliott is Jack Hanna as he shows an illustration of a panda from a dictionary, go-go dances with his assistant "Tanya," and displays a "Madagascar Halipe o," which sharp viewers recognize as a house cat.

05-20-1987: Night 3 in Las Vegas, and, for the first time, when introducing another segment of Stupid Pet Tricks, wagering is allowed.

05-20-1992: Dan Quayle's Top Ten Other Complaints about TV - 8. Even though you're screaming the answer, Pat and Vanna just ignore you. 6. "China Beach" failed to show Vietnam War contributions of Indiana National Guard.

05-20-1993: Top Ten Signs Your Husband's a Loser - 7. Always quoting Urkel.

05-20-1994: Dave leaves the theater, goes to the nearby hotdog vendor and washes his face in steaming dirty hotdog water.

05-20-1994: Top Ten Signs Your Kid Watches Too Much T.V. - 4. The poor little bastard's got Koppel hair.

05-20-1996: "Real Stories of the Late Show Mailroom". Also, "The Late Show News Review" includes a fake Ronald MacDonald.

05-20-1996: Dave sends two dorky audience guys outside to monitor the temperature (94 degrees).

05-20-1996: Top Ten Highlights of O.J.'s Visit to New York - 8. Looked in Yellow Pages under "Real Killers," didn't find any, went golfing.

05-20-1997: Guest Ida Doggett, champion bed-maker. She makes a bed.

05-20-1997: How Many Sailors Can Get Into a New York City Chicken Restaurant?" Amazingly, 68.

05-20-1997: Paul Shaffer's All-Star Salute to Jimmie Walker is kind of odd. Later, Top Ten Signs You Have a Bad Apartment. In segment 5, Richard Simmons appears for some reason.

05-20-1998: Biff Henderson's taped report from the Bulls/Pacers game. Also, the CBS Evening News makes a few corrections.

05-20-1998: Dave coerces Executive Producer Rob Burnett to sub for him during the last segments of the show.

05-20-1998: In a drawing, a woman (supposedly from the audience) wins a Powerball lottery ticket.

05-20-1998: Top Ten Things Dumb Guys Would Do with $175 Million - 9. Buy 700,000 vowels on the "Wheel of Fortune."

05-20-1999: A few people from this very newsgroup meet for the first time, apparently.

05-20-1999: Guest Helen Hunt plugs the final episode of "Mad About You". An audience guy makes a ring out of a dollar bill, and Dave "marries" Helen with it. Also, tonight's Secret Word is "Alan" for 500 or 100 damn dollars.

05-20-1999: Know Your Current Events: (1) Salt Lake City woman is a modern dance major (she does some dance moves); (2) Dan from CA is a former San Francisco 49er.

05-20-1999: Tonight's Secret Word is "Alan" for 500 or 100 damn dollars.

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