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This Dave in History for April 2

04-02-1985: Dave takes Al Frisch into the hallway to meet former President Jimmy Carter, who's awaiting his appearance on Live-at-Five. Carter tells Dave, "Being President isn't much; being on David Letterman is a big deal."

04-02-1986: Barbara Gaines is at home base with a letter from another Barbara Gaines. Among the words spoken are "you f***ing bitch"; Dave then leaves the set, and Biff takes over, offering a comparison chart.

04-02-1987: Dave displays the Official Chart of Weasals: #3: Independent Producers; #2: Record Company Executives; #1: Show Business Attorneys.

04-02-1991: Top Ten April Fools Day Jokes in New York City - 8. Suicide hotline puts you on hold while playing Van Halen's "Jump!"

04-02-1992: Top Ten Interesting Facts about the 38-Acre Fungus - 6. Elvis once had staff try to bulldoze it onto a 40-acre pizza.

04-02-1993: Top Ten Signs You're Not God - 9. Tuna melt isn't your favorite sandwich (see Matthew 3:24). 3. Every time you try to prove you're invisible, you end up getting arrested.

04-02-1996: A clip shows Kevorkian as a model?

04-02-1996: After Dave promises that the Quiz Machine will never be seen on the show again, he brings out the Flagstar 3000, a cheap cardboard facade.

04-02-1996: Guest Ray Wold is a pyrotechnic madman.

04-02-1996: Top Ten Good Things About Marrying Clint Eastwood - 6. Turns out, in all those movies, that wasn't a gun in his pocket.

04-02-1997: Dave plays with a special camera and tells George Lucas to kiss his ass.

04-02-1997: Fake clip of New York's wacky weather.

04-02-1997: Guests: Dan Aykroyd promotes "Grosse Point Blank" and sings "Money"; David Kruithoff is a "do-it-yourself dentist"--he did his own root canal with no anaesthetic.

04-02-1997: Mrs. Baylor's kindergarten class from Cleona, PA, presents "What To Do When You're 50".

04-02-1997: Paul's brother Kenny is in the audience?

04-02-1997: Paul's new show/film is "The Monocle Guy".

04-02-1997: Top Ten Signs The Ringling Brothers Circus Has Gone Downhill - 2. Cotton candy tastes suspiciously like fiberglass insulation.

04-02-1998: Bruce Willis is live via satellite in Idaho from the set of his upcoming film "Breakfast of Champions." All night long he's inside a television monitor that's dropped onto glass, a bathtub of pudding, and smashed from six stories onto the street.

04-02-1998: Know Your Current Events players: (1) Celeste, a middle school teacher from CT, and (2) Bill from Long Island who's at Fordham Law School.

04-02-1998: Top Ten Paul Jones' Lawyer Excuses.

04-02-1999: CBS Mailbag: (1) Dave carpools to work with Dolly Parton; (2) Paul's story about writing the book "The White Lion"; (3) Dave gets the writer out of jail, with Inky's help; (4) "Tick Tock", the Late Show clock, sings about the time change until Anton shoots him.

04-02-1999: Charlie Daniels (fiddle) sits in with the band.

04-02-1999: Tonight's Secret Word is "mahogany" for $500.

04-02-1999: Top Ten Signs the Easter Bunny Is Cranky.

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