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09-13-1982: Steve Allen recreates his "Letters to the Editor" routine on Late Night.
09-13-1983: It's Back-to-School Tips, as Dave tries to discuss Classroom Etiquette. "Eat this if you wanna be cool," Larry "Bud" proclaims, with his mouth full of paste.
09-13-1984: Viewer Mail: Dave displays the Letterman Fan Club Jumbo Package: hangers, American Airlines house magazine, wash & dry moist towelettes, coupons, saltines, and ketchup.
09-13-1989: Dave's Record Collection: Edward Woodward sings "Eleanor Rigby," and Tom Wilson sings from his LP "Gay Name Game" the song "Lesbian Seagull."
09-13-1989: Top Ten Ed Koch Excuses - 6. Should have listened when people answered "How'm I doin'?" by saying "You suck."
09-13-1990: Anton Fig's Expiration Date Guess #10: Mayonnaise -- another correct guess!
09-13-1991: Remote: Dave's Day of Chores includes feeding Gene Shalit's dogs, giving meat to Willard Scott, and taming Tom Browkaw's monkey.
09-13-1991: Top Ten Things that Will Get You Kicked Out of the Miss America Pageant - 1. Corking your swimsuit.
09-13-1993: America meets Mujibur and Sirajul for the first time as they give Dave passport photos in another installment of "Meet Our Neighbors" / "May We Have Some Free Stuff?"
09-13-1993: The full credits crawl is shown for the first time on CBS.
09-13-1993: Top Ten New Campbell Soup Slogans - 6. Hitler: bad. Soup: good!
09-13-1994: Can a Guy in a Bear Suit Get a Free Hot Dog from a NYC Street Vendor? Simple answer, but later on the show: Can Former First Lady Barbara Bush Get a Free Hot Dog from a NYC Street Vendor? The answer is found later in the show, as the Bear and Mrs. Bush are seen sharing their hot dogs in the green room.
09-13-1994: Top Ten Signs the Game Show You're Watching is Fixed - 4. Bob Barker has been neutered (I'm sorry, that's a sign the game show host you're watching is fixed).
09-13-1995: The third edition of the Donut-A-Pult is brought out by "lab technicians"; it's bigger and louder and double-barreled. Still, Dave takes a step backwards and just throws donuts into the audience. Meanwhile, Elizabeth Berkley promotes her role in "Showgirls" by giving Dave a lapdance. Dave is unable to stand up.
09-13-1995: Top Ten Little Known Facts About Colin Powell - 3. Attributes Desert Storm victory to something called the "Donut-A-Pult."
09-13-1996: Dave buys Leonard a tuxedo to wear when annoying everyone at the Emmys.
09-13-1996: Dave tries on Felicia's top hat.
09-13-1996: Guest John McEnroe is very candid, as always. We get an old clip of him arguing, too.
09-13-1996: Top Ten Titles Being Considered for Anna Nicole Smith's New Book - 4. Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, My Chest is From a Catalog. (music cue: "Thanks for the Memories.")
09-13-1999: "Emmy clip" of the most memorable TV moment of 1999: Dave flipping a pencil.
09-13-1999: Clip of George Clarke as a dancing baby.
09-13-1999: Dave mentions the Team Rahal victory (Bryan Herta?) and the Emmy victory for the Late Show (both were this past weekend). Clip of Rob Burnett forgetting to hug his wife Eunice last year at the Emmys; this year, he got it right.
09-13-1999: Guest John McEnroe is the new Davis Cup captain for the U.S.
09-13-1999: Top Ten Things That Will Get You Kicked Out of the Emmys.
09-13-2000: "Banned from the Classroom" bit includes jar of spit ball spit, Jack Daniels drink boxes, Professor George W. Bush's Build Your Own Electric Chair kit, book: "Human Sexuality" by the Gores, Elmer's Paste with Sprinkles (Dave eats some and washes down with Jack Daniels), Dave Letterman anatomy chart, Crayola 64 pack cigarettes, and Hot Wheel Cars with (exploding) Firestone tires.
09-13-2000: Campaign 2000, sponsored by Mrs. Paul's Fish Sticks ("so good, so tasty, so fishy"), Mr. Coffee ("make coffee in your own home, and drink it"), and by L'il Debbie Snack Cakes. ("Mmm, yummy. Just listen to what people like you are saying about L'il Debbie snack cakes." Then, the "it's just unbelievable" guy. Alan: "You know I'll bet if Mrs. Paul and Mr. Coffee had a daughter they would name her L'il Debbie. I know I would." Alan blows a kiss. "Now back to you, underpants.") Paul and Dave have nothing. Maria: Al Gore on show tomorrow. The Bush people called back: will he be on the show by himself (not in a debate)? Sponsor is Firestone Exploding Tires ("Put some excitement in your carpool. Firestone Tires: KABOOM"). Alan wants to say something about alleged mob boss John Gotti's daughter Victoria (who's getting divorced): "Victoria, my sweet sexy Victoria ... I don't know if you feel the same way, but if you do ..."; he sings "Lady" and gets shot a few times.
09-13-2000: Dave notes that the Ball State football team (the Fighting Cardinals) hasn't won since 10/3/1998 when they beat Northern Illinois. (They have lost 19 in a row?)
09-13-2000: Dickey Betts (guitar, Allman Brothers Band) sits in with the band. Also, Dave notes that the Ball State football team (the Fighting Cardinals) hasn't won since 10/3/1998 when they beat Northern Illinois. (They have lost 19 in a row?)
09-13-2000: Nicky Vets (guitar, Allman Brothers Band) sits in with the band.
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